CHORUS:
Mozzarella
It's the best cheese known to man
Mozzarella
you can't buy it in a can
Mozzarella
tastes great with any meal
Mozzarella
it improves the way I feel
Some will extol the quality of Gouda
Others insist that Cottage dwellings rule
Most, like yourself say that Cheddar's the best, well
I know for a fact that you're all very wrong
I know that the best cheese could never belong
in a cla**ification with all of these other loser cheeses
CHORUS
You can add it to anything you like
Mashed Potatoes, broccoli, or even baked Pike
Try it in comparison with all other cheeses and surely you will see the light
That Limburger stinks and Parmesan's lame
That Colby's overrated and Monterey's lost its fame
and that Swiss and Provolone both leave you empty and hurting and maimed.
CHORUS
It's bettah than Feta, and better than Bleu
It beats Gorgonzola and Jarlsberg, it's true
Brie may be the queen, but she sure can't defeat Das Führer
American's foreign and Ricotta is weak
Romano, Montasio, they're both so last week.
No, nothing can hold a candle to the cause for which I speak....
CHORUS