Back in 2000 I was so important
My career took a turn I'm BoJack Horseman
Now I'm just a guy with a story never finished
And the problem with those physics is my sk**s never diminished
Listen, I'm only getting better with age like antiques
To come back decades later like Twin Peaks
Catch me in your town driving in a minivan
With a crew that's more lit than that sh**ty '90s band
Understand, the first time around was a test
So I could resurrect and be considered 'mongst the best
Put pen to pad to spell out the catalyst
They had me making songs with will.i.am and Fabolous
But thank Random House 'cause they literally saving me
The system f**ed me up, y'all can call me Steven Avery
And sleeping on Karl's a real bad look
Cause I'm f**ing up the track like Phil Collins did the hook
I'm Michael Fa**bender in "Frank" when I perform
I wear the big head to protect the art form
The industry's a beast and I'm just trying to stay warm
In a shirt and board shorts in the midst of ice storms
I've never been the norm, smiling bright for your enjoyment
White kid in the game before these other dorks destroyed it
Confused by the way rap sounds in '16
Got me feeling like Encino Man, you know what I mean?
Cause rap used to be fun
Now I'm Rocky in the ring punching out Tommy Gunn
You put me on a mission to come back even better
And emotional, I'm like Drake in his favorite sweater
36 years old and still rapping and that's important
Cause there really aren't that many words that I could rhyme with 'mortgage'
My book drops in the first week of June
But you could pre-order it to make sure it arrives soon
To hear the story 'bout how I went from average nerd
To the greatest white rapper that you probably never heard
To stories 'bout Tyrese and Sisqo that are absurd
And Kanye owes me $300 and that's my word
So go to your local bookstore on the day that it drops
And get excited like Jared Fogle when he's watching "Sandlot"
And get excited cause you're about to read how I was once on top
Of the rap game... then I abruptly stopped