Oh my dearest Mr. Santa Claus
I am writing you because
There seems to be a problem with your staff
You may or may not be aware
Or even worse you do not care --
At any rate, there is no cause to laugh
I gave it to my mother
A specific list of toys to bring around
But when I woke up Christmas morn
It was an obvious clerical error that I found
If you look on page number twenty-two
Under the heading of "Rocket Packs"
There's no way a personal jet-propulsion device
Could ever be confused with --
A BUNNY PUPPET??!!
Hello again, dear old Saint Nick
I really hate to be a stickler
But it's clear from here that things must change
With software advances and the Internet
You really can't delay in getting
Some elves that are more technically trained
I discussed this with my mother
Along with a list of toys to bring around
But when I woke up Christmas morn
It was a hideous clerical error that I found
If you look on page number twenty-nine
Under the heading of "Scuba Gear"
There's no way a personal deep-water submarine
Could ever be confused with --
UNCLE WIGGLY??!!
Hi again, Saint Nicholas
I'm sorry that it's come to this
But someone had to bring you up to speed
Perhaps your management sk**s are rusty
But you really have to trust me
You are just not meeting your customers' needs
I was told by my mother
To let you know about this oversight
But I've been playing Uncle Wiggly with my bunny puppet
And I just haven't had the time to write