Hello, my friend
Nice to see you again
Cheers, let's drink
Let's have a good time
Have you heard that band
That no one else knows of yet?
They're coming to the town for a gig
And what do you expect?
Well, they were better back then
When they were indie and sh**
Before they went all mainstream
Before their greatest f**ing hit
But why should I bother?
You don't even know music, man
You don't even smoke
You haven't started a band
Have you tried marijuana?
Do you eat organic food?
Do you have ironic t-shirts?
'Cause you know you should
My cable operator says
I'm getting MTV Rocks
I've read some Pitchfork articles
But all of them just s**
Can you stop pretending
That you even know my name?
All my friends and guys like us
Are f**ing all the same
Nut why should I bother?
You don't have the guts to admit it
You're not as cool as we are
And I'm not kidding
Why should I bother?
You cheap-a** motherf**er
You're so bloody mainstream
You sorry-a** s**er
Oh, but, seriously, what the f**, man?
I just tried to be friendly
Yes, I might listen to Radiohead
And maybe they're mainstream now
But I don't give a sh** somehow
Because they still have something to say
And then there's you, and your bands,
That have nothing to say at all.
They might look good,
They might be unsigned,
They may have hipster beards,
But that doesn't give 'em street cred
Or at least they don't deserve my respect
If that means anything to you.
You might be better than my CD collection
You might be better than my red converse shoes
You might be more stylish than my girlfriend
You might have more friends on facebook than me
You might get better bl**jobs than me
That all can be true and I won't deny it
But does that make you superior?
Does that make me inferior?
Does that make my ways less worthy than your ways?
And all your friends
They talk, they walk
In that posh way that I'll never have
Never follow
Nor be even able to understand
They're all very successful from what I've heard
Give them my regards
At your parties you all commute
You all salute
You all f**ing know better
You all diss Arcade Fire, LCD Soundsystem
Or even The f**ing Enemy
'Cause they all sold their a**es
Well done you had the chance to like them before
You've all read it on screenagers
You've all seen it on vimeo
You've all written about it on tumblr
In Helvetica on an artistic background
With trees and sunset
Way to go, guys, seriously
That impresses me,
And I'm easily impressed with joy division vinyls
And colorful t-shirts
Congrats you've done it and now you're living it
I wish I could be just like you
Live just like you
f** just like you
With all your dicks,
Long, red and hard all the f**ing time, 24/7
Just because you get all wet and excited in your own company
And your sweaty big balls hang low
All dignified and sh**
Packed with unknown bands you have on your last.fm profile
On your Spotify
In your iTunes libra-- oh, sorry
In your Foobar library, iTunes is so 2009
You listen to your music with your Skullcandy headphones
Dressed in Pull&Bear top
Burberry pants
In Nike Dunk shoes
But, ironically enough,
With a scarf that you bought on sale in f**ing H&M
And how does that make you feel?
Feels good, right?
Feels divine
It's all yours
It's all mine