The world is now quite different
It's getting rather hot
But that don't mean that there can't be
An occasional temperature drop
This time for us is tied to
Such a festive way of living
When we are all fat fatties
And not a single f**k is given
Oh you know that Christmas is comin around
When it's cold as hell
And you know that Santa's comin to town
When it's bout to get cold as hell
We're freezin our a**es off around the nation
At least there's one big consolation
We're about to get smothered in gifts
But that don't change that it's cold as sh*t
You know that Frosty's comin to life
When it's cold as hell
You know you can find who's naughty or nice
When it starts to get cold as hell
We're freezin our a**es off around the world
All the cold-a** boys and hypothermic girls
Get ready for a hundred renditions of jingle bells
When it's cold as hell
So long ago when I was an itty bitty baby
The slightest hint of chill
Made me moan and groan so awful crazy
But now as I toil away
On a frigid day scr*ping the car off
No I don't mind a bit, won't quit
There's a light at the end of the tunnel
As I'm freezin my balls off
As I'm freezin my balls off
You know they're selling out of Nintendo Wii
When it's cold as hell
And there's a genocide of all the pine trees
When it starts to get cold as hell
We're freezin our a**es off around the nation
At least there's one big consolation
We're about to get smothered in gifts
But that don't change that it's cold as sh*t
You know you're gonna see friends and family
When it's cold as hell
And you're gonna fill up on pie and candy
When it starts to get cold as hell
We're freezin our a**es off around the world
All the cold-a** boys and hypothermic girls
Get ready for a hundred renditions of jingle bells
When it's cold as hell
Put on your gloves
Put on your hat
Go get your coat
Snatch it off the coatrack
If you forget
You'll be in deep sh*t
Cause it's cold as hell