Oh how i'd like a girlfriend
So I could stick her on the shelf
Next to my shiney trophies
To show her off when you come 'round
But if she spoke to me
I'd spank her on my knee
Cause she would have to be
The kind of girl that doesn't want a life
(WHOA) 'Cause i'm a man now
(WHOA) I have to follow macho rules
(WHOA) and if I break them
(WHOA) the lads just won't think that i'm cool
Oh how i'd like to leave home
And start life all of my own
I'd get a job and pay the bills
Get a new car and mobile phone
But then at 43
I'd wake up suddenly
And realise that i have wasted
All the fun years of my life
(WHOA) 'Cause i'm grown up now
(WHOA) I have to follow grown up rules
(WHOA) and if I break them
(WHOA) I won't fit in this world at all
Oh how i'd love to go to uni-
Versity for my degree
I'd spend 4 years of my life
Around the best of company
But what if afterwards
I had become a nerd
And realised that what I learnt
Will be of f** all use to me
(WHOA) 'Cause i'm a student
(WHOA) I have to follow student rules
(WHOA) and if I break them
(WHOA) Ill get my arse kicked out of school
Who says i want to be in school
Who says i want a job at all
Who says i can't be nearly dead
And still be acting like a kid
If being a man means being like you
I think I'd rather act the fool
I will not copy what you do
Cause i ain't turning out like you