They say I've got a screw loose in my brain
My driver's insane
My better half cut loose
But he's feeling my pain
I go right vs. left
But I just can't decide
Because they're equally stubborn
And they have equally pride
When I try to walk straight
I sway back and forth
It's five toes going south
Five toes going north
Oooooh ooooooh ooohhh
My deck's incomplete
I am missing my Queen
My King has gone AWOL
And my Jack broke his spleen
So that leaves mostly numbers
It's ace 2 through 10
But though I split them up fairly
I never can win
Because the clubs are exclusive
And my spades start to wear
I spend all of my diamonds
But hearts don't play fair
Oooooh ooooooh ooohhh
I lost most of my marbles
Not much older than 4
The hole in my sock
Let them roll out the door
So I chased after quick
But none could I find
'Cause my thoughts were all hazy
In my absense of mind
So I grabbed a few spares
From an old dusty jar
But they were not quite as shiny
And didn't roll quite as far
Oooooh ooooooh ooohhh