[Verse 1: Trademarc]
My ears are ringing, it's like children singing or humming
I'm numb and I'm thinking it's nothing
I'm confused by the booze and medication
It's modern-day meditation
My generation sees that combination as an expectation
Half-done, I'm moving in slo-mo
Through an imitation of life, it's like an illustration or a photo
But the perspective ain't right
It's like the lights cast by a yo-yo in midflight
It's too bright, I'm confused and lost
I feel transparent and barren and used
Like a red herring tossed and forced in my own thoughts with no bearing
Black to light, back to life and I breathe in
I sit up, I'm light headed, the world is out of focus
I know this, I try to get up, I instantly regret it
I spit up, I don't get it, the glow, the world looks overexposed
Or like a negative with shadows where the colours should go and vice versa
I'm thrown by the ring of the phone like inertia
Flown like a cyclone, head spinning
Still blown from the beginning, I'm sitting in front of my body
Now on the bed, dead grinning, a red linen, brain spilling
Conflicted, the wounds looks self-inflicted like it's scripted
A knock on the door, I feel distant like staring backwards
Through binoculars, inconsistent, the picture fades
I'm non-existent but I'm persistent, I wanna stay!
You can't see me this way, I love you momma!
[Verse 2: Esoteric]
Aw sh**, what the f** did I walk into?
My man's a bloody mess up in his room, he cut his flesh
Drugged up like Hunter S., must've been under stress
Nonetheless he flunked the test, succumbing to life's ugliness
A gun to his chest and head, a knife to his wrists, he bled
Twisted lead's f**ed him up like his sister said
Plus Erica left him for some war on terror veteran
Now he's dying in the bed they never slept in
I crept in and saw the blood on the hand that his writing pen was kept in
That his medical depression was prepped in
Suicide, glazed over as poetic expression, a valiant effort
I had the chance to step in but said, “F it”
Dawg, why'd you do this to us? You know what this crew is to us
Your mom tried this sh** in ‘91 now she's dialing 911
I think your time has come, this being the top one
Dumbest things you ever done
I know your life is erased, no one ever could have won
You'd rather dream than live now my head is hung