I'm five, I'm five I'm a big boy now, I'm five I can dress myself I don't need Mom to help me anymore And when I sit in my father's chair my feet can reach the floor see I'm five, I'm five Got a muscle and I'm five And when I wrestle with my Uncle Matt in a second he's on the ground So fatso Rob better not get wise cause I don't fool around I can throw this rock a mile away and k** that rattle snake You dare me to swallow my chewing gum down and not get a belly ache When I was in the jungle I frightened all the animals And even Tarzan ran a mile when I was king of cannibals
I lived there for about ten years and then a ship found me And when I got back the police asked me alot of questions I'm no stool pigeon, I clammed up and I walked right out on them Right across the street, I'm allowed You know why? I'm five, I'm five I'm a big boy now, I'm five My mother daresn't spank me just for going without a hat She knows darn well I'd run away cause I'm too old for that What does she think, I'm three? Not me What does she think, I'm four? I'm more than four I'm even more than four-and-a-half I'm five December 12th