Had to use a public restroom today... ugh
Isn't that the worst when you have to?
Godamnit... you j walk in, right. Here's the first thing, I don't care
Anywhere in the country you go, why when you walk into a public restroom
Why is everything f**ing wet! Right, there's puddles
Water all over the counter. It's dripping like you're in a f**ing cave
What happened? Was there like a shaggy dog in there after a bath?
Just came in and-
Then god forbid you have to use the stall, right
You go in there, you sit down, you try to close the door which
Apparently Van Dam kicked in
Why are they all broken? Who was running in the bathroom
Like I gotta sh**? *pound* I can't sh** with a door in front of me!
*punch*
f**ing door! I don't like being in a perfect square when I sh**
*punch*
Good. Broken. I like that. Now I can... sh**
*punch*
Door...
Then you're sitting there, right
And then you start to read... you start reading like all the most evil
Ignorant sh** ever is all around you! You just sit there
It's not just written with pencil, it's f**ing CARVED!
Who is carving on the toilet?
Who is so pissed off while they're taking a crap they're like...
*fart*
Goddamn Jews!
*fart*
UGH Blacks!
*fart*
UGH! Here's my favorite too, on the walls someone always has to write...
Mike was here. But then somebody else puts an arrow and writes
Mike is a f*ggot
Like Mike is coming back to check it out...
What the f** is this? I was here but not as a f*ggot!
I'm trying to make a statement here
There's always like a girls number, always a girls number
Is anybody ever f**ing call!...
How did you meet you're wife John?... I was taking a crap...