[Verse 1]
Mirrors reflection burning into my soul
Putting my pain in the pictures of all of these intricate flows
Heaven knows if ima make it I ain't talking bout the music that birthed me
Heaven knows if i"ll make it to 30 no man can hurt me but my mind drowns with the demons
I think my pride will leave me deceased and keep me from breathing
Ive never been one too run, 3 beers in my system
4 missed calls from Mom 5 revelations bout Jesus
Please just numb me from the pain that is going on
That's why I got this potent purple that I'm smoking on
It's easy to kick your goals when hope is gone
I'm praying I'll salvage my soul and I'll be staying strong
It's like my life is moving faster
Living internal rapture
I'm living for love to capture
And ask forgiveness after
But what if there isn't no after the aftermath hurts and you better believe
That life's like a feather it's gentle indeed and free but what's it impacts it never will leave
[Hook]
Money came like rain to your hands while you were waiting
For that cold old promise to appear
People in the churches started singing about their hurts
You said "My God is a good God and he cares."
[Verse 2]
Taking my breath like an asthmatic trapped in a burning cigarette factory with no way out
Taking my breath like when an infant is born and hearing through her vocal chords an angels voice when she opens her mouth
Without a doubt I know that I still got room to grow
Still got way to many parts about me that nobody knows
It's like an undiscovered element evil but find it heaven sent
Weather its heaven or hell both are equally relevant
Delicate words leave my mouth the real me is muted
I'm zooted because I zero in on my wrongs when I'm into my zone
I feed off the darkness I need it it keeps me whole
Now you know that every time I flow it's food for the soul
I don't know how the f** I'm supposed to say this
Believe me I am the first to see these changes
I f**ing hate it but I just couldn't take it anymore
And you're the only one that can save me believe me baby
It's crazy the dark side that I've been fighting off
Is becoming my favorite side as time goes on
I was like an infant with my intentions scared of the dark
But the light and dark signed a treaty believe me that's the scariest part
[Hook]
Money came like rain to your hands while you were waiting
For that cold old promise to appear
People in the churches started singing about their hurts
You said "My God is a good God and he cares."
[Bridge]
I've got a plan, I've got an atlas in my hands
I'm gonna turn when I listen to the lessons that I've learned
I've got a plan, I've got an atlas in my hands
I'm gonna turn when I listen to the lessons that I've learned
[Verse 3]
I honestly don't ever feel sh**
Depression sets can never rest when the real hits
And this is real sh**, but it stays hidden
I can't believe I was content with the life I was living
k**ing my liver drinking almost everyday of the week
If I wasn't drinking better believe I was smoking weed
Cuz I am weak and I've always been
I f**ing hate myself, wish I could save myself
But now it's red eyes under cheap shades
Memories fly over my mind like red eyes over freeways
I'm screaming please stay. I promise Ima change
Just give me a chance but my grip began to slip right through your hands
Now I'm looking up as I'm falling
Hoping you hearing me calling
I had it but now I've lost it
I've gotta get back to the basics
Basically I'm a target for myself and I'm never missing
When you were talking man I should've listened
Now I'm 19 thinking about therapy am I insane ?
What does happiness mean can I hear the definition again ?
But instead of drinking a bottle and swerving through the fast lane
Ima put my heart in my verse so you can hear the pain I'm gone
[Terza Rima]
The words will leave my lips not thinking twice
Until the darkness bleeds over the sky
I pay the price for asking your advice
It hints the end but I resist goodbye
The words of immaturity will echo
I search in the sky for answers to come by
My hopes as high as angel like falsettos
They pierce my hears with very graceful tones
My mind and spirit become a libretto
The devil advocates my heart to stone
"your evermore is impossible" he screams
"be free of pain as if you were alone"
I'll fight my fear, I'll persevere, and gleam
Loves a battle, a war, and just a dream