Good times and bum times, I've seen them all and, my dear
I'm still here
Plush velvet sometimes, sometimes just pretzels and beer
But I'm here
I've stuffed the dailies in my shoes
Strummed ukuleles, sung the blues
Seen all my dreams disappear
But I'm here
I've slept in shanties, guest of the W.P.A
But I'm here
Danced in my scanties, three bucks a night was the pay
But I'm here
I've stood on bread lines with the best
Watched while the headlines did the rest
In the Depression, was I depressed?
Nowhere near
I met a big financier and I'm here
I've been through Gandhi, Windsor and Wally's affair
And I'm here
Amos 'n' Andy, Mah-jongg and platinum hair
And I'm here
I got through Abie's, Irish Rose
Five Dionne babies, Major Bowes
Had heebie-jeebies for Beebe's Bathysphere
I lived through Brenda Frazier
And I'm here
I've gotten through Herbert and J. Edgar Hoover
Gee, that was fun and a half
When you've been through Herbert and J. Edgar Hoover
Anything else is a laugh
I've been through Reno, I've been through Beverly Hills
And I'm here
Reefers and vino, rest cures, religion and pills
And I'm here
Been called a pinko, commie tool
Got through it stinko by my pool
I should have gone to an acting school, that seems clear
Still, someone said, "She's sincere", so I'm here
Black sable one day, next day it goes into hock
But I'm here
Top billing Monday, Tuesday you're touring in stock
But I'm here
First you're another sloe-eyed vamp
Then someone's mother, then you're camp
Then you career from career to career
I'm almost through my memoirs and I'm here
I've gotten through "Hey, lady, aren't you whoozis?
Wow! What a looker you were"
Or, better yet, "Sorry, I thought you were whoozis
Whatever happened to her?"
Good times and bum times, I've seen 'em all and, my dear
I'm still here
Flush velvet sometimes, sometimes just pretzels and beer
But I'm here
I've run the gamut, A to Z
Three cheers and dammit, c'est la vie
I got through all of last year and I'm here
Lord knows, at least I was there and I'm here!
Look who's here!
I'm still here!