Good times and bum times, I've seen them all and, my dear I'm still here Plush velvet sometimes, sometimes just pretzels and beer But I'm here I've stuffed the dailies in my shoes Strummed ukuleles, sung the blues Seen all my dreams disappear But I'm here I've slept in shanties, guest of the W.P.A But I'm here Danced in my scanties, three bucks a night was the pay But I'm here I've stood on bread lines with the best Watched while the headlines did the rest In the Depression, was I depressed? Nowhere near I met a big financier and I'm here I've been through Gandhi, Windsor and Wally's affair And I'm here Amos 'n' Andy, Mah-jongg and platinum hair And I'm here I got through Abie's, Irish Rose Five Dionne babies, Major Bowes Had heebie-jeebies for Beebe's Bathysphere I lived through Brenda Frazier And I'm here I've gotten through Herbert and J. Edgar Hoover Gee, that was fun and a half When you've been through Herbert and J. Edgar Hoover Anything else is a laugh I've been through Reno, I've been through Beverly Hills And I'm here Reefers and vino, rest cures, religion and pills And I'm here Been called a pinko, commie tool Got through it stinko by my pool I should have gone to an acting school, that seems clear Still, someone said, "She's sincere", so I'm here Black sable one day, next day it goes into hock But I'm here Top billing Monday, Tuesday you're touring in stock But I'm here First you're another sloe-eyed vamp Then someone's mother, then you're camp Then you career from career to career I'm almost through my memoirs and I'm here I've gotten through "Hey, lady, aren't you whoozis? Wow! What a looker you were" Or, better yet, "Sorry, I thought you were whoozis Whatever happened to her?" Good times and bum times, I've seen 'em all and, my dear I'm still here Flush velvet sometimes, sometimes just pretzels and beer But I'm here I've run the gamut, A to Z Three cheers and dammit, c'est la vie I got through all of last year and I'm here Lord knows, at least I was there and I'm here! Look who's here! I'm still here!