* All snippets of Monica's +responses+ are Lil' Kim record samples
[Chris Rock]
Thanks for the interview Monica
Now Monica, everyone seems to think they know ALL there is to know
About Monica Lewinsky -- but Monica, could you tell us one thing
That people would be surprised to know about you?
"I used to be scared of the dick; now I throw lips to the sh**
Handle it, like a real b**h.."
[Chris Rock]
Very interesting! Now Monica, there seems to be a lot of demands
On your time. Could you tell us what a quiet evening with
Monica Lewinsky would be like?
"Got buffoons eatin my p**y while I watch cartoons.."
[Chris Rock]
Hmm, sounds like fun!
Now Monica, who were your role models?
"Zsa Zsa Gabor, Demi Moore, Prince Diane and all them rich b**hes.."
[Chris Rock]
Now in the transcript, you refer to the President as bu*thead
Did the President have any nicknames for you?
"Poon-poon nanny-nanny, punanni danni.."
[Chris Rock]
Ahh, cute!
Now Monica, you and the President had a lot of phone s**
What was the one thing that you would say to the President
That would make him acheive orgasm?
"Before you nut, I'mma dribble down your bu*tcheek
Make you wiggle, then giggle just a little.."
[Chris Rock]
Now Vernon Jordan helped you get a job
What's the first thing you said when you met Vernon Jordan?
"It's on n***a what? p**y greased up
Stack the G's up, keeps the knees up.."
[Chris Rock]
So are you saying you had an affair with Vernon Jordan too?
"I made my intro, gettin f**ed in the Pinto.."
[Chris Rock]
Monica you appear to be having s** with everybody
How do the interns treat you?
"They be s**in blackberry mola**es out my a**es.."
[Chris Rock]
Now now that we're on it, how come you never had s** with Al Gore?
"I got no patience for little dick tastin.."
[Chris Rock]
What about Ken Starr?
"He be lookin fruity, but you still can eat the booty.."
[Chris Rock]
Now Monica, do you have any regrets about your relationship
With the President?
"Somethin I wanted, but I never was pushy
The motherf**er never ate my p**y.."
[Chris Rock]
Hey, here's the President right now, Bill Clinton!
Now Mr. President, before we go
Is there anything you'd like to say to Monica Lewinsky?
* Eazy-E sample *
"b**h shut the f** up!
Get the f** out of here!"