[Verse 1]
Silver teeth and the co*kiness of James Dean
Body like a cantaloupe, head like a baked bean
No gun but he gets pretty irrate
So if you run then you'd better learn to fly mate
He spends his mornings tackling evaders
And daydreaming that they issued him a taser
And if they did, all the money he could save 'em
With concession cards and bodies on the pavement
And you might joke he takes his job too seriously
But you don't know all the things he's seen
There's a lot of gum under the seats (and people's feet)
And you might joke he takes his job too seriously
But you don't know all the things he's seen
There's a lot of punks who ride for free (and retirees)
[Pre-Hook]
But in high school, he took two lessons in Jiu Jitsu
And he was pretty good at it... I guess
[Hook]
Hey, hey please don't go and
Go and throw your life away
Don't you don't you run from him
Son cause he'll f** up your
Day, No he's not gonna
Waste his time taking your name
Trust me there'll be no escape
He's got two feet and half a brain
[Verse 2]
This dude's like Paul Blart: Mall Cop
If he lost his segway and had a small...
Stop what you're doing if you see him with his badge on
Though Jane at the office spelt his name wrong
He doesn't have a baton, doesn't have a mad dog
Doesn't know a lot of stuff but he throws a fat punch
His mum packs his lunch, taught him wrong from right
Saving the world one ticket at a time
And you might joke he takes his job too seriously
But you don't know all the things he's seen
Sometimes children ride for cheap (or talk loudly)
And you might joke he takes his job too seriously
But you don't know all the things he's seen
There's a lot bums up on these seats (and sometimes feet)
[Pre-Hook]
But in high school, he was one of the members
In the runner-up 4 by 100 meter relay team. He still polishes his medal
[Hook]
Hey, hey please don't go and
Go and throw your life away
Don't you don't you run from him
Son cause he'll f** up your
Day, No he's not gonna
Waste his time taking your name
Trust me there'll be no escape
He's got two feet and half a brain
[Bridge]
They wouldn't let him in the army (oh no-o-o-o-o)
The wouldn't let him be a sergeant (oh no-o-o-o-o)
A fireman was far too hard a thing for him to be
He'd write parking tickets, but he doesn't like to read
[Pre-Hook]
But in high school, he lost a jellybean count
And the winner didn't share them. Maybe that's what this all stems from
[Hook x2]
Hey, hey please don't go and
Go and throw your life away
Don't you don't you run from him
Son cause he'll f** up your
Day, No he's not gonna
Waste his time taking your name
Trust me there'll be no escape
He's got two feet and half a brain
Hey, hey please don't go and
Go and throw your life away
Don't you don't you run from him
Son cause he'll f** up your
Day, No he's not gonna
Waste his time taking your name
Trust me there'll be no escape
He's got two feet and half a brain