You've heard of the story Alice
Told without any malice
Alice is fond of Algernon
And there's no wondering
For Algy is quite a handsome lad
A handsome lad, a handsome lad
Except for one little thing
His skin, chagrin
It's veined and spotted and speckled and dotted
But Alice is fond of Algernon
And there's no wondering
For Algy is quite a handsome lad
A handsome lad, a handsome lad
Except for one little thing
His voice, rejoice
It's cackled and chronic and stereophonic
His beard, it's weird
It's terribly horrid and grows from his forehead
His eyes, surprise
He dips them in highballs to wash out his eyeballs