We all have heard the story of the coming of the war
Politicians say that it's our way of life we're fighting for
Congress said get back to normal, then they ran right out the door
The members all have gone
Glory, glory, paranoia
Ain't it starting to annoy ya
Even junk mail could destroy ya
Where has the Congress gone?
I can't take my knitting needles when I board my flight today
If she tried to knit an afghan they might haul her bu*t away
And the airline food is good if you don't mind the steak puree
Utensils all are gone
And a grandma got convicted, she was sentenced to d**h row
'Cause she mailed her friend a fruitcake with suspicious Sweet & Low
And a friend of a friend of a friend whose cousin's boyfriend's girlfriend's roommate went out with this manicurist who this really happened to, so I know it must be so
That grandma is a con
Glory, glory, paranoia
From D.C. to Illinois-a
Can't let stuff like destroy ya
Our nation must go on