I'm staring out into the air again
And all the years I've spent alone
I know it's coming, if not quickly
I always end up on my own
I gave up smoking, I gave up coffee
But I'm still not a bigger man
I still get swallowed by the petty
I'm still afraid to trust my friends
I'm still afraid to talk to strangers
I'm still afraid to make a joke
I still think I'm stupid and you hate it
Still can't be honest with my folks
I'm impatient and I'm pushy
I'm so stubborn and I know
If I try my hardest I still won't change this
But I can hide it if I mope
But I can still walk out my front door
I can still get on my bike
I can still take gulps of fresh air
When it's cooling down at night
Yeah, I can run up to the river and throw rocks
Along the top
And if they sink instead of skim the surface
The next day I still wake up
And take a second just to space out
Try to build a better home
Take my faults and say "ok then"
And call up everyone I know
Before I'm spending time alone