[Verse 1: Brigand]
Once had a friend in high school that reminded me of myself
We use to climb up on the school and had theories to tell
Of life and d**h and religion, of heaven and hell
Wasn't always stable, I didn't know he needed help
He left for the summer when I was 16
Low self-esteem and broken dreams had me busting seems
In my psyche, I could break down in a heartbeat
Tears streamed down after school when I would leave
To be alone my biggest fear, hated thoughts oh so near
Back on track, this is for Matt
Let me make that clear
Rumors arrived after I hadn't seen him in half a year
They said he k**ed himself, I didn't find them sincere
Nobody knew sh** so I phoned his home to figure it out
His mom came on the line and cleared all of my doubts
The first to know, she told me how he did it
She called me honey, few weeks later my friends were all dressed up
[Hook: Brian Deck]
Some days, her shape in the doorway will speak to me
A bird's wing on the window
Sometimes I'll hear when she's sleeping
Her fever dream, a language on her face
[Verse 2: Brigand]
After that I had a falling out, as a kid I was devout
Couldn't understand the God who'd cause pain and put down
So for a while, I had nothing, felt nothing
All day the long The world was gray
And everything, to me, all looked wrong
Thought I could paint it all pretty with weed and shrooms
Only god and deeper sh** spent a month in my room
First thing I saw was my dad seized on the couch
Took so many years to figure all of this sh** out