[Verse 1: Brigand] Once had a friend in high school that reminded me of myself We use to climb up on the school and had theories to tell Of life and d**h and religion, of heaven and hell Wasn't always stable, I didn't know he needed help He left for the summer when I was 16 Low self-esteem and broken dreams had me busting seems In my psyche, I could break down in a heartbeat Tears streamed down after school when I would leave To be alone my biggest fear, hated thoughts oh so near Back on track, this is for Matt Let me make that clear Rumors arrived after I hadn't seen him in half a year They said he k**ed himself, I didn't find them sincere Nobody knew sh** so I phoned his home to figure it out His mom came on the line and cleared all of my doubts The first to know, she told me how he did it She called me honey, few weeks later my friends were all dressed up [Hook: Brian Deck] Some days, her shape in the doorway will speak to me A bird's wing on the window Sometimes I'll hear when she's sleeping Her fever dream, a language on her face [Verse 2: Brigand] After that I had a falling out, as a kid I was devout Couldn't understand the God who'd cause pain and put down So for a while, I had nothing, felt nothing All day the long The world was gray And everything, to me, all looked wrong Thought I could paint it all pretty with weed and shrooms Only god and deeper sh** spent a month in my room First thing I saw was my dad seized on the couch Took so many years to figure all of this sh** out