So you heard about my problem
Ya, I thought you would
I shot myself in the foot
Now, I'm limping pretty good
Hey, hey, look at the progress I been made
Now help me pull the pin on this verbal grenade
Whoa-ho, watch out for the shrapnel
As all the s**er punch lines begin to unravel
In shocking pyrotechnics, in explosions of verbs
You hit the speed-bump of the learning curve
Whoa-ho ah, Whoa-ho ah
It takes a pound of cure and an once of prevention
To avoid the infection of political correction
A couple of right turns in the wrong direction
And you'll find yourself labeled a dishonorable mention
Whoa-ho, let go of what you lost,
Kiss your a**ets goodbye and count up the cost
If the total of your tally is too small to observe,
Then you musta' hit a speed-bump on the learning curve
Whoa-ho ah, Whoa-ho ah
I'm writing operas with crayons, novels in chalk,
You can find my best sellers in the better parking lots,
I scrawl ‘em in bathrooms, I sing ‘em to my sweetie,
It's the spray paint of love on sidewalk graffiti
Whoa-ho, put the pedal to the floor,
Straight ahead and gun it, this is life's overture
Both hands on the wheel, don't skid and don't swerve,
And try to miss the speed-bumps on the learning curve
Whoa-ho ah, Whoa-ho ah
If it's hungry, you feed it,
If it itches, then you scratch it,
If it's broke, then you fix it,
If it's loose, go get a ratchet,
It's wallflowers dancing, its lock, load, and ready,
It's like trying to bust a jam with old Kokopelli
Whoa-ho, it'll hit you right between the eyes
When you check out the features of Mother Nature's thighs
The one sensation that sparkles every nerve,
Is bulls-eye on the speed-bump of the learning curve
Whoa-ho ah, Whoa-ho ah
I been up studying, studying all night long,
What can I say?
Sometimes I think,
I was born, the day before, the day before, yesterday
Take a look at my face; you know right where I stand
It's somewhere between hell and the promise land
It's the oral tradition, and a Hollywood story
It's like tryin' to sell real estate in purgatory
So ante-up and lay your money down
Give the wheel a spin and watch it go around
Sometimes you get exactly what you deserve…
Sometimes you hit the speed-bump of the learning curve
Whoa-ho ah, Whoa-ho ah