Alex Bevan - Speedbump On The Learning Curve lyrics

So you heard about my problem Ya, I thought you would I shot myself in the foot Now, I'm limping pretty good Hey, hey, look at the progress I been made Now help me pull the pin on this verbal grenade Whoa-ho, watch out for the shrapnel As all the s**er punch lines begin to unravel In shocking pyrotechnics, in explosions of verbs You hit the speed-bump of the learning curve Whoa-ho ah, Whoa-ho ah It takes a pound of cure and an once of prevention To avoid the infection of political correction A couple of right turns in the wrong direction And you'll find yourself labeled a dishonorable mention Whoa-ho, let go of what you lost, Kiss your a**ets goodbye and count up the cost If the total of your tally is too small to observe, Then you musta' hit a speed-bump on the learning curve Whoa-ho ah, Whoa-ho ah I'm writing operas with crayons, novels in chalk, You can find my best sellers in the better parking lots, I scrawl ‘em in bathrooms, I sing ‘em to my sweetie, It's the spray paint of love on sidewalk graffiti Whoa-ho, put the pedal to the floor, Straight ahead and gun it, this is life's overture Both hands on the wheel, don't skid and don't swerve, And try to miss the speed-bumps on the learning curve Whoa-ho ah, Whoa-ho ah If it's hungry, you feed it, If it itches, then you scratch it, If it's broke, then you fix it, If it's loose, go get a ratchet, It's wallflowers dancing, its lock, load, and ready, It's like trying to bust a jam with old Kokopelli Whoa-ho, it'll hit you right between the eyes When you check out the features of Mother Nature's thighs The one sensation that sparkles every nerve, Is bulls-eye on the speed-bump of the learning curve Whoa-ho ah, Whoa-ho ah I been up studying, studying all night long, What can I say? Sometimes I think, I was born, the day before, the day before, yesterday Take a look at my face; you know right where I stand It's somewhere between hell and the promise land It's the oral tradition, and a Hollywood story It's like tryin' to sell real estate in purgatory So ante-up and lay your money down Give the wheel a spin and watch it go around Sometimes you get exactly what you deserve… Sometimes you hit the speed-bump of the learning curve Whoa-ho ah, Whoa-ho ah