[Intro] EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY! ROMEO & JULIET! VERSUS! BONNIE & CLYDE! BEGIN! [Bonnie & Clyde] I'll handle this darling, I'm known to fire off some BAR's Cause if these lovers cross me, they're gonna end up seeing stars I mean I'll let you go first, but damn sure I'm gettin' licks in On this hissy fittin' rich kid and this prepubescent vixen I'm sick of them Let's beat 'em then and we can rob 'em blind I'll stick this punk up from the front I'll take this broad from behind And pop a cap in the a** of the last Capulet heiress Give Miss No Nights In Paris a reason to cry to her parents Oh! Romeo, O Romeo, wherefore you tryin' to flow yo? Mofo, you soft as a fro-yo Are those the drapes or your clothes, bro? ( oooh ) There's gonna be a tragedy Make you ache like your balls on the balcony Barrow Gang put their money where their mouth is Spit sick like a plague on both your houses [Romeo & Juliet] My love, your face is beauty to behold I will protect thine honor from these dust bowl dil*os A moment's break from your gaze is an eternity past So together we shall both put these b**hes on blast En garde thou artless beetle headed flax wench The only insult you have thrust upon me is thine stench Why don't you twist upon these nuts? I hear you're good with a wrench The dismal state of your raps should be a federal offense And you there, wench with the neck of a chicken You'll get an a** rippin' worse than your boyfriend's in prison You're not a true romance, you're just a conjugal visit Oh, but that's not even your real husband now is it? [Clyde] Hey partner, you best put a muzzle on your missus 'Fore I teach her how we handle disrespect down in Texas [Romeo] Do you quarrel sir? Ho, shall I draw my long sword Or will you duck your chicken sh** a** back into your Ford? [Bonnie] How could you beat my man in some mano a mano? You can't protect your best friend from some John Leguizamo! [Juliet] No no, my Romeo will beat your beau in contest blow for blow He will do upon thine dick what you hath done upon your toe ( gunshot ) Oh! I am k**ed, what irony is this? The lead role shot down by a failed actress [Romeo] Then I shall k** myself on my stomach I shall lie So you louts can lick my a**, thus with a diss, I die [Juliet] Oops, nevermind, my flesh was merely grazed Where's Romeo? Oh Nomeo! There's poison on your face! Oh happy dagger, pierce me true, persuade my breath to stop Sheath yourself inside my heart and like the beat I drop [Bonnie & Clyde] Well that was tragic That did not go as expected Woulda done that boy some good to just wait a couple seconds It's kinda sad though really, so young to have just died Well at least we got each other Just Bonnie and- ( gunshots ) [Outro] Who won? Who's next? You decide Epic Rap... BATTLES OF HISTORY!