[Intro] EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY! DONALD TRUMP! VERSUS! HILLARY CLINTON! BEGIN! [Hillary Clinton] I've been in this game too long I'm a public servant Have been since I met MLK in person I'm a woman of the people, that's for certain You're a man of the people who don't like turbans I was living in the West Wing while you were professional wrestling You got skin like Russian dressing From too much Russian investing You been going bankrupt since the 90's If I was in Iran, you couldn't find me You don't care about the job, Trump You just think the desk is shiny I said that I respect your children But that wasn't quite right, yo Looking like some extras from American Psycho First name is Hillary, middle name, Rodham, last name is Clinton and lyrics, I got 'em You fire celebrities on The Apprentice Motherf**er, I fire bin Laden! How do I say this? You're racist Ooh, you must get so pissed that your hands are too small to stop and frisk So you use your fingers to touch chicks (She's only 12 years old) That's enough, sh** (But she's married, sir) Just gotta get pushy (That's your daughter) Well, grab her by the p**y That's a**ault, brotha! Don't tell me the victim's at fault, s**a! You don't know sh** about steaks, yucka! But the ones on the 8th are great, muthaf**a! Better save the date, I'm gonna rock the vote Bad b**h on the scene like Murder, She Wrote So go ahead Donald, let me see your flow I brought Michelle's speech, borrow some quotes [Donald Trump] Let me just say I respect all females But your rhymes are trash Put 'em next to your emails Our country's in crisis Who wants to vote for the mother of ISIS? That might not be exactly true But I don't do politeness You wanna talk about misogyny? Your Bill's worse than Cosby He left a mess on that dress Like you left in Benghazi You wanna break the gla** ceiling, Hillary, I sense it But the only crack you'll find is my a** pressed against it The numbers are in and I'm right on your tail You don't have the stamina, baby, you're frail This will be just like '08 when you fail But Trump will appoint you to jail How do I say this? You're a two And you almost lost the primary to a socialist Jew What do the American people gotta yankee doodle do To get it through your fat face that they're just not that into you? They want a strong male leader, who can stand up to China (China, China, China) Not a crooked little wishy-washy bleeding heart vagina I'm gonna run these streets like I run my casinos More police and less Latinos While you bury us in debt buying poor people socks I'll create jobs tearing down mosques Then I'll use all the best rocks from the site to build a wall Dip it in gold and make Mexico pay for it all I'll make this country great again We'll all be living large I'll tell Congress you're fired and put Charles in charge 'Cause this whole system's rigged and we all know the riggers For the last eight years, this country's been run by- [Eagle] CAW! [Abraham Lincoln] Are you f**ing kidding me with this blah blah blah? I've half a mind to feed you both to my oversized- [Eagle] CAW! [Abraham Lincoln] I've heard more thoughtful discussion up in TMZ You two got brother blocking brother on their Facebook feed I'm so sick and tired of this ridiculous sh** If this is the best my party gets, then my party should quit [Hillary Clinton] Ha! [Abraham Lincoln] I'm sorry, did I say something that you found funny? Wipe that creepy-a** smile off your face and beat this dummy! And if she does win the White House, be a man and hold the door Don't get your fans stirred up in some sorta Twitter civil war Here's an equal opportunity smack down in the sequel That's of the people, by the people, for the people EAGLE! [Eagle] CAW! [Outro] WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE! EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!