Zach Braff - Albert's Ark lyrics

[Sam, Mark, and Andrew stand, soaking in the rain.] MARK So this is it. ANDREW So knock! Knock and barter for Desert Storm trading cards. MARK Don't tease me about my hobbies. MARK I don't tease you about being an a**hole. Okay! [Walks and knocks on the door] ALBERT Mark? MARK Yeah. Albert? ALBERT Come on in. INT. ALBERT'S BOAT MARK Oh, man. You guys must be freezing. Make yourselves warm by the fire. I'm just gonna go put her down. Okay? I'll be right back out. SAM Ah, I must say, I'm continually impressed with how each place you bring us, continues to be weirder and weirder. MARK What do you mean? This is nice. ANDREW Oh, nothing. Just hangin' out on an old boat at the bottom of a quarry in Newark. MARK It's hardly the bottom, dude. Did you check out that cliff down there? ALBERT Hey! This is my wife, Faye. FAYE Hi! Welcome. ALBERT Please. Have a seat. Make yourselves comfortable. FAYE Man, it's really comin' down out there. ANDREW Yeah. It just started pouring all of a sudden. ALBERT Well, in a bad storm, I like to pretend that this old boat's my own private ark. Um, unfortunately, if this is the apocalypse. I'm not quite sure it still floats. FAYE Yeah, I don't know. [Tea kettle whistles in the background.] Listen, would anybody like some tea? SAM I'd love some. Thank you. FAYE Do you want some? I'll be right back. ANDREW What is this place? What is it that you do down here? ALBERT Well, we're calling it Kiernan's Fault. It's, uh... No one really knows what it is because we haven't been able to explore it. Meanwhile, while they're locked in litigation, they hired me to make sure no one comes inside. ANDREW Wow. ALBERT But what they don't know is that at night I climb down. SAM So, how deep does it go? ALBERT Thank you. You know... Thank you. No one really knows. But I like to pretend it's infinite. SAM It's kind of an odd job. Guardian of an infinite abyss. ALBERT Yeah. Yeah, I guess it is. But we also trade and deal in antique j**elry. I suppose it is odd that we live down here like this. MARK No. SAM Not at all. ANDREW Never crossed my mind. ALBERT Well, we think it's important. ANDREW Why? What is it that you think you're gonna find? ALBERT I guess I just like the idea of discovering something. Of doing something that's completely unique...that's never been done before. ANDREW "Albert's Abyss." ALBERT Well, maybe. Who knows? ALBERT But, you know what? That's all ego. None of that really matters. If I get to be with this person right here, and our beautiful baby...that's all I need. Well, I suppose you want what you came all the way down here for. MARK Oh, yeah. That'd be great. ALBERT It took me a while to track this piece down, but I owed Diego huge. MARK That's it. Thank you so much. ALBERT Yeah. MARK Really. FAYE Good luck in the rain. Um, do you guys want some garbage bags or something? SAM Yeah. ANDREW Okay. That'd be great.