Your Mother - Not-So-Funny, Kinda Boring, Corny lyrics

There's something that I've got deep inside my heart (besides cholesterol or burn) it's just a yearning to write not-so funny, kinda boring, corny words of mine (hence the title)... about you. My most influential times happened while you were by my side and if it's all the same to you I wish that is where you'd reside. When I was 15-years old, playing my first show on the quad during lunch, I really s**ed I'm sure you know. But, as I learned to take shame like the man that I pretend I am, you sat there right in front me, clapping, my only fan. Underneath my Star Wars sheets, March 2, 1990, I was so excited that I broke your hymen. I hope you don't mind their our first time is lyrically broadcast to all those three who are listening as I fill their cars with sap, but anyone who knows me knows that I am just a dork who finds good times in farts and boogers and just making fun. And the odds of my writing a compa**ionate song are about as slim as me but unfortunately you're able to bring the corniness out of me.