Yizi_m - On the Road-Final Version lyrics

On the road Mae opened her eyes and looked out of the window of her bedroom, even though it was raining, she smiled and said: “Wow, I am alive! What a nice day!” Mae did the same thing every morning when Mae got up. She had been saying this for a long time. Longer than she could remember. Mae had been being afraid of dying of heart attacks. And she thought every day feeling alive was a great gift for her. Mae A. White was diagnosed congenital heart disease when she was born. Because of her heart, she was really weak. So her parents as well as her friends would not let her do anything which might require labor work. She took a bottle of medicine with her wherever she went in case of heart attacks. She had heart attacks for a few time during cla**es, so all of her cla**mates knew that. Mae could still remember what happened the first time she tried doing some energetic activities. There was a fine summer morning. The sun was shining and the wind was gentle, soft, and warm. She just couldn't help running into the sun. She circled and run in front of her house for no more than five minutes and was stopped by her mom when her mom was surprised to see her there. She felt so wronged when she was dragged down by her mom. She almost cried: “Mom! I really love today's weather, it's sooo nice! Why can't I just run for a while? I will be fine!” However, it was too late. She had a terrible fever that afternoon and missed cla**es for a couple of days. Mae never tried any vigorous activities since then nor did she had any PE cla**es. All she could do was sitting by the window of the library which faced to a tennis court, and raptly watching people yelling, jumping, and enjoying sweating. She wanted to join them so badly. But she knew she couldn't, and whoever knew about her disease would not let her. Mae was thin and looked pale. But her eyes were big, beautiful, and conveying the message: naive, pure, and kind. Mae knew it was hard to have heart diseases, and she wanted to help as much as she could. She had been volunteering at a hospital for a few years; leading patients to the place where they should go from the admission. When Ebola outspread last year, her parents strongly against her volunteering at that hospital; she insisted going and she did. She liked helping others, in all kinds of ways as long as she could help. She wanted to help as many people as she could during her unsure length of life. She had dreams, lots of. One of the dreams she desired most was to go Africa and help local children. Even though she did not know how and what to do to be of help, Mae still wanted to go. However, she had been putting this dream away because she had never left the town she was born and worried about her heart. Mae was born in Broken Arrow, a very small city in Oklahoma. With a total population of roughly 100,000. Both her parents were farmers, and they were really hard working, so their living were not bad. They got along very well with each other. To her family, it seems, the only but biggest concern was Mae's disease. Back all the way to when Mae was born, she was taken too good care of. Even though her heart was not that bad, only a few heart attacks a year, her parents helped her do almost everything and did not allow her to try any sports. However, Mae managed to persuade her parents to teach her driving. Mae spent most of her childhood on the swing in their yard reading books to her loyal friend, her dog, Dan. Mae decided to pursue a bachelor degree in Biology when she was admitted to the Northeastern State University, because she wanted to cure heart diseases, if possible. When she entered college, she decided not to tell anyone she had heart disease. For the first year of her college, she did not have heart attack for a single time for the whole year. She got so delightful and decided to learn swimming. Because she met a girl, Zoe, who was also a Biology student who was two years older than her and was really good at swimming. They had many major courses together and became best friends. *** Mae stared at one of the drawings hanging on the wall for long. All those drawings were girls: in different clothing, with different postures, showing different expressions. But none of them failed to convey the message of feeling coziness and show their grace. Lynn drew all those. Lynn, is leaving. Setting off to Los Angeles. A week before her departure, she invited some of her friends, mostly are students there. Literally, Lynn and Mae were not friends yet. Because they just made their first acquaintance a few days ago, and they do not know much about each other yet. Mae just happened to know that Lynn is leaving and holding a farewell party. When one day Zoe and Mae were walking on campus, heading to the next cla**room, they came across Lynn. Zoe knew Lynn, she was a Biology PhD candidate. They were in the same group in an upper level course. When they came across on the campus, Lynn told Zoe that she was moving to Los Angeles, for a better salary. Looking at Mae who was standing beside Zoe, Lynn also said Mae was welcomed. Mae nodded and smiled. Mae was amazed by the drawings on the wall. “Did you draw all these!” Mae asked. Lynn did not answer, not even looked up, cooking a dish for the party. Mae felt wronged but it did not last for long because Mae did not think it a big deal. *** It was not Mae did not care about being ignored, but she already got used to it. She was pretty good at dealing with being ignored. Reading books helped her learn to overcome all kinds of difficulties. Mae's motto was “love like never been hurt; trust like never been treated.” She also tried her best to do so. Mae was quite shy. Only people who knew her well could tell that she was really kind and warm hearted. *** Almost everyone came, except for one----Ken, who called and said his car broke on the way there and would show up later. So they started the dinner. Most of the people invited, except for Zoe, are new to Mae. Mae just quietly ate, barely looked up, nor joined the talk. When Ken arrived, they have already finished eating and started playing card games. “Hey Lynn, sorry I am late. My car broke down on the way. I mistakenly filled diesel in my car and the car stopped on the road. My car is on its way to a body shop, and I asked a friend to bring me here.” Ken explained, “But don't worry, it should be fine, and my friend can also pick me up later.” Then he joined the game; it was poker. Even when they were playing the card game, Mae did not speak much, though she seems enjoyed it. Radioactive suddenly started to play. It was someone's phone. “I am sorry!” Ken said, and picked up his phone. The one on the other side could be heard now and then. “Sorry dude, I don't…pick…at … defi … body shop…row…don't…Math…due tonight. Sorry! ...” Ken frowned as he hung up the phone. Then Ken started to go over his contact on the phone. Everyone just look at him but said nothing. “Excuse me?” Mae asked carefully in a very low voice, “I am sorry I heard your talk.” Paused, “Bu…but maybe I can send you home if you want.” It was almost the first sentence Mae said that night. “Wow! That would be awesome!” Ken's face lighted up, “Will it be convenient for you? It's totally fine, I can ask my other friends if it is not.” “Where do you live?” Mae asked directly. “I live on campus.” “Yes. I would pa** our campus on my way home so I can definitely bring you to campus.” Mae offer her help right after she learned Ken lived on campus. “Oh, thank you! I appreciate it! Really!” Mae smiled and focused her eye on her cards again. *** The party was over, it was not bad. Mae led Ken to her car. A white Chevrolet Sonic. Mae felt much better after walking out of that apartment. She liked that apartment, especially those girls on the wall. She just got super nervous whenever being around with a big group of people, because her heart would beats painfully when she was in front of crowds. But she would feel a lot better when only a couple of people were around. Ken thanked Mae again as he got on Mae's car. For a few minutes, nobody talked. “Look! A deer!” It was Mae who broke the awkward quiet. “Really! A deer? Where!” Ken looked up. “Ha-ha! Look at that sign on your right.” They were on a road beside a forest, so there was a deer crossing sign at the edge of the road. Mae giggled. Then, so did Ken. *** They arrived at their university, of course. Ken thanked Mae again and headed to his dorm. Mae did not make the U turn at the next cross until she made sure Ken turned at a corner of a building and could not see her anymore. She went the opposite direction and went back home. It is Mae. She would lie or suffer losses only if she can help somebody. However, what she did not know Ken was a kind of person who would like to see others off as far as he could without letting them know. Ken saw all that: Mae stayed there until he turned. He also saw she made a U turn indicating that the campus was not on her way home. *** Ken recognized Mae when both of them were coming out of the music building. “Hey, Mae!” Ken yelled. He was glad he still remembered Mae's name. Looking at the case Mae was carrying, “What do you play? A violin?” Mae recognized Ken when she turned to the voice. “Oh, hi! Yes, it's a violin. I am just practicing.” “You good at it?” “Well, I won't say that.” “You wanna, like, try some duet? With a piano?” Mae smiled, turned her head a bit to the left, and raised her eyebrow simultaneously, “Sounds like a good idea. You play the piano?” “Yeah, I do. You wanna try sometime?” “Okay~” said as Mae nodded, “but not today.” “Yep, absolutely.” They exchanged their numbers and both left. *** One day when Mae was chatting with Lynn on the Facebook, Lynn learned Mae had taken a course about Perl programming. Perl was the language Lynn just started to use to an*lyze data. Lynn asked if she could help her debug a script. Mae happily agreed. Mae spent a whole afternoon to debug the over 200 lines' script and sent it back to Lynn. Together with all the course material she had when she took the Perl course. Lynn appreciated it and sent a thank you card to Mae. Mae never expected that, so she was overjoyed when she received the card. That's why Mae's motto never changed. “Love like never being hurt”. She offer her help as much as she can no matter who she was helping. Now and then, she would get some pay off without any expectation which usually made her very happy and satisfying. *** As she kept swimming, Mae felt better and better. More and more energetic as time went by, and the fear of d**h eliminated a bit. For the first time, she saw hope on herself and feel alive, and for the first time, she wanted to pursue what she wanted for her life. She started to look for more volunteering opportunities. One post caught her attention. It was a volunteer opportunity to Africa. This one was exactly the same as the one she dreamed for years, to teach African children. Mae hesitated for a while and finally filled in the application. Days later, she got a mail said she was approved and all the volunteers will set off together at Will Rogers World Airport. *** One day, Mae just showed up with a very bad face in front of Zoe's apartment and called Zoe to open up the door. The moment Zoe opened her door, Mae embraced Zoe tightly. No more than three seconds, Mae started to sob, then cried. Petting gently on her back, Zoe said: “Oh dear little poor! It's okay! Everything will be fine!” Even though Zoe did not know what happened. “I trusted so much! I helped with all what I can! I treated her like my best friend. But she just don't take a sh** about me, about my feelings!” Buried her head on Zoe's shoulder, Mae yelled incoherently as she cried. Mae has been crying for a few minutes and Zoe just kept petting Mae's head and back. Suddenly choked and began to pant. Zoe knew it was her heart attack. So she held Mae with one of her hands and used the other to search in Mae's shirt's pocket. Finding a little yellow bottle on her left shirt pocket, Zoe unscrewed with one arm rounding Mae's neck and used that hand, the one on Mae's neck, to shake two pills out. Gave her the two pills, Zoe felt that Mae has laid all herself on her. “Come on! You got heavier!” Zoe said to herself as she tried hard to hand Mae to the nearest chair from the door. Almost half an hour later, Mae's breath began to stable. Mae felt sorry for causing her friend so much trouble. But that guilty face, in no more than a few seconds, took place by a cold one. Mae said in a desperate voice: “It's not fair! I can't just even cry when my heart is breaking into pieces!” she wanted to start to cry again as she said this. But she knew her would die if she start crying again so she tried hard to hold it back. Zoe frowned and felt sorry for Mae. “What happened to you?” Zoe can tell Mae tried to start talking about what happened for a few times, but her face looked worse and worse and almost start to cry again. “Wait! Wait! Wait! Stop! You don't have to say that if you can't!” Mae took a deep breath and sighed, still with that big frown on her small face. “Mae, listen to me!” Zoe continued, “You have to learn to say no. Or others will not take your help a big thing and take it for granted. And you cannot trust anyone like me. Not even if you think you know them.” Mae stared at her sadly. “I know it's hard, but you have to learn all that!” Zoe continued. Just then, Mae's phone rang. It was women in love, a piano music. “Hey Mae! How's everything going?” Mae picked up the phone, it was Ken. “I'm doing great! How about you?” Mae tried to speak in a very calm voice like nothing happened even though it still sounded weak. “Yeah, pretty good! You wanna go and play some music together someday?” “Oh, that sounds good. When?” “Will tomorrow work for you? How about 3 tomorrow?” “Yep, absolutely.” “Sweet! See you then!” “Good! See you!” “I Am Doing Great!” Zoe repeated Mae's words in a weird way after Mae hung up the phone. Mae looked up at Zoe and smiled embarra**edly. *** “No hurry, I am at 329. Just come in when you arrived.” Mae got there a couple of minutes earlier. Ken arrived about three minutes later. They greeted each other. “The flowers looks great!” Ken said. “Yep, I love this room because of this. The view from the window is always amazing.” Mae replied as she grinned. Ken was suddenly got in some way by Mae's side face of Mae as she grinning and looking out of the window. Mae turned to Ken and asked: “what do you want to play?” “Wha, whatever is fine.” He was pulled back when Mae asked him this question. *** Ken and Mae were meeting regularly after they met at the music building to play some duets together. Ken found out that Mae not only played very well but also have great learning on musicians, and that's also Ken's favorite. So it did not take long before they become really close, and they started talking not only about music, about almost everything. One Sunday, Mae got a text for Ken, asked her whether she wanted to out for a walk to k** some time on that fine Sunday afternoon. “Yes.” Mae texted back. They decided to meet at a state park at 2 p.m. In case, Mae also brought her violin. Both of them showed up on time at the gate. It was a hot summer day. The wind took away some heat, so it was not that terrible. It just rained a day before, so there was not much cloud and the sky was azure. It was still cool in the shadow. They went to play paddle boat. Sitting right next to each other, they rode to a shadow, which was created by a huge tree near the lake. They stopped there and enjoyed the cool. Mae thanked Ken in heart silently for asking her out for a walk. The view was so great and Mae love it. Mae love green, light green, gra** green, and dark green, all kinds of greens, you name it, because she thought green means energy. Mae started looking around; enjoyed the view a lot. Mae was grinning as she enjoyed the view around her. She even chuckled a bit at some points. However, she did not know Ken had been watching her viewing the view. When she turned her head to Ken, because she spotted a nest on the tree, they looked into each other right through their eyes. Mae's expression fixed at the moment they looked into each other. “Wha… what's wrong?” asked Mae. “Mae, I like you. Can you be my girlfriend?” Ken continued, “One minute is not long, but I would love to spend 59 seconds of it with you. I know I don't have much money, but can spend most of it on you.” Mae was so surprised, it was her first time. “I don't care about your heart disease.” Ken witnessed it once they were playing La Campanella, by Franz Liszt, together. “Could you give me the chance to take care of you?” After a long pause, she was still so surprised that did not know what to say. “I think I fell in love with you the first or second time when we played duet together. I know that day, the first day we met, you did not pa** our campus on your way home. I saw you take the U turn at the next cross. Why don't you tell me?” Ken added as he reached into his pocket and took out a necklace he prepared, “Will you take this, and be my girlfriend? I can take care of you. You don't have to hide anything in front of me. I understand. I don't want you hurt yourself to help others and I can do that for you.” It was totally blank in Mae's head, she was still in the expression the moment she turned to Ken and wanted to show him the nest she found. Ken seemed was the first one who knew Mae so well. The words Ken just said, in a way, hurt Mae deeply, because those words made Mae think that she didn't have to live so hard, she can get rid of all the burden she put on herself. But she knew she can't, she didn't want to hurt Ken. “I can't Ken, I'm sorry.” Mae started coming back, “I've been treating you as my best friend.” Mae looked sad and continued: “You know I can't fall in love with anyone. My heart disease may k** me at any moment and I do not want to hurt the other one when I die.” “But I don't care!” “You are a very good man.” Mae interrupted him, “And that's exactly the reason I don't want to hurt you. I'm sorry. Really.” On the way home, tears went down through Mae's cheek. She tried to hold her emotions from outspread because she knew she can't afford a heart attack while driving alone. Mae said to herself: “Mae, you don't hurt anybody, especially for the one you like.” *** “Wow, I am alive! What a nice day!” as usually, Mae said this in one morning as she stretched out. Mae was super excited because it was the day she was going to meet all the other volunteers at the airport and setting off to Africa. Mae's parents insisted to drive her to the airport but Mae refused. Finally her parents gave in. It is because Mae's heart really became stronger over all these years, so is they think it is time to let her go and face something on her own. Mae started the engine and headed to Will Rogers World Airport. It would take almost an hour drive, but she was happy. “Finally!” Mae said to herself, “I will be fine!” she nodded. It was a lovely day, pretty much liked the day Ken said he liked Mae. It was really green along the highway. When she came across the deer crossing sign, she smiled, recalling that night, when she and Ken first met and lifted Ken school. Then Mae felt she started missing Ken. So she called Zoe through the Bluetooth on her car and talked almost everything about Ken. “Mae! Just go for it!” the voice from the other side of the phone sounds super excited, “You are such a good girl and you definitely deserve it!” “Exit at 330 toward Airport, then your destination will be on the right” the GPS stopped their talk. “Okay I will think about it, I gotta go, I almost there.” Mae rashly hung up the phone even though she still don't want to hurt Ken and did not tend to start a relation yet. *** Mae dragged her luggage to the gate of the airport and recognized a really familiar figure. It was Ken. Ken noticed Mae as Mae recognized Ken. “What are you doing up here?” Mae asked in surprise. “I know you are going to Africa to volunteer. So I also applied, and got proved. And now I'm here and I am going with you. I want to help you to help them.” Ken looked at Mae, sincerely. There's already tears in Mae's beautiful eyes. “Mae, will you be my girlfriend?” Ken said slowly, word by word. Mae did not say anything but made on step to Ken and kissed him, right in front of the crowd, at the gate of the airport.