X - Writer's Block lyrics
*chorus* I don't know what to say i'm trapped in a stump,- Wrapped in a slump,-enveloped by confusion 'n hatred,- I don't know how to explain it-or say it- All i know is i may quit-'consumed by darkness 'n i hate it,- I feel like i'm about to go insane 'n crazy,-my mind's growin' blank 'n hazy,- I struggle to think tryin' to'''decide a thought,- Which words should go where i can't decide which answer'''is right or not,- I try to think out'''side the box,-but i'm sufferin' from writer blocks,- f**... I'm'''livin' my life in trouble,- Constantly i ask god to help me 'n grant me the strength to fight but i'm only'''given lies strife 'n struggle,- They say it's a blessin' in disguise,- So i stand up to take it as a lesson 'n arise- Guessin' it's supposed to make me a better person,- 'n i try so hard to be but it seems to me like everything i do is never workin',- So i'm always cryin' 'n whinin',- I'm sick 'n twisted but i'm just tryin' to find an outlet to use to start tryin' unwindin',- Sufferin' from an overwhelming pain in my chest 'n supressin'''depression pretendin',- I'm allright tryin' to explain my feelings to express 'em 'n stress 'em but i always fail so i end up in a mess 'n repressin' just stressin' again 'n,- I feel inferior and shy so i act like a frigh'''tened spider 'n hide,- In a corner MY SELF ESTEEM IS DWINDLING LIKE MY CONFIDENCE LIKE A DY'''IN' FIRE INSIDE,- ... I attempt to redeem myself but i've pretty much forsaken my ambitions and only feel an over'''whelmin' thrivin' desire to cry,- Always depressed i have no motivation or influence that would encourage me to ex'''cel 'n strive 'n aspire to try,- ... I want help but noone besides me understands my feelings so i keep tryin' like an'''ill possessed'''denyin' liar to lie- But i'm flustered and i lack luster so i look at my life but i only'''feel depressed'''''n i'm inspired to die,- The truth hurts too much and life's too painful so i pop some paink**ers 'n try to deny- The facts wonderin' if this is god's response to my actions while i pray to him for a nicer reply,- ... But i've never seen my dad so i wonder does my father hate me?- I need help i don't need anyone to tell me why i've been feelin' this way lately,- But i've been listenin' to eminem recently and it's been increasingly affecting my self esteem a lot still 'n greatly,- Makes me wanna write rhymes like him that vividly express how i've been feelin' lately,- Even if children hate me,-real insanely,-i'm ill 'n crazy,- I have the potential to rap but i've been feelin' lazy,- I lack the motivation and the will 'n maybe,- I do not de'''serve it,-sometimes i wonder if takin' a new shot is'''worth it,- I don't got homies to tell me "you got this your(yur)sh**-/you got this don't quit/ Is amazing don't quit" i just look up to eminem in envy like i'''even bought his first hit,- I listen to his sh** and think this is the most'''deep 'n hottest verse spit,- And here i am i just'''freakin' brought this worse sh**,- I can't even compare to him even though i'''got this verse spit,- My head tells me to conceal the hatred though my heart says do'''not reserve it,- But i don't know how to word it,- I listened to his music and lost all confidence as soon as i heard it,- I think i might for sure quit-as i think about him to myself "you're sick-i can't measure up to your(yur)wit-you're perfect"- Plus i'm never a**erted,-i don't belong in this game i have no permit,- So much for a diverse first hit,-this is the worse verse spit,- I'm contemplatin' suicide so don't be suprised if you find me with my wrists in my hearse slit,- 'cause since the beginning of this song my suicidal urges'''bec'''ame much stronger,- 'n i really can't endure this'''sick pain much longer,- /endure the pain much longer - urges became much stronger/ I really want the fortune the fame 'n sh**,-i wanna repay my mother for supportin' a shame 'n it,- Means a lot helpin me get to where i'm at even if i end up in hell just scorchin' in flames 'n quit,- Livin' but i ain't gonna lie,-i've lost almost all reason to live at this point i just wanna die,- I cry out for help but noone listens to what'''i speak 'n try to say I'm tired of livin' 'n i just keep sleepin''''my freakin' life away,- I've accomplished nothin' 'n i have no reason to feel motivated noone would care if''''i even died today,- Honestly i try to develop interests and ambitions'''but don't even have a vision,- I can't see or imagine a better future stuck in a constant state of'''alone grievin' avolition,- I struggle to recite these lyrics 'n i'm tired of not'''knowin' what to do,- 'cause everytime i try to express my feelings i only manage to'''choke 'n stutter too,- All i know is i don't wanna continue to feel'''bad 'n suffer the pain,- I've'''had enough of the strain,-... I swear i'm'''f**in' done 'n 'em finished,- ('em - i'm) Though i'm trapped in a nightmarish void my dreams are in like my hopes have been'''stuck in one 'n diminished,- ... 'n i feel so hopeless,-tryin' to be the dopest,-i'm losin' focus,- I feel like i'm about to'''go insane 'n crazy,-my mind's'''growin' blank 'n hazy,- I struggle to think tryin' to'''decide a thought,- Which words should go where i can't determine which answer'''is right or not,- I try to think out'''side the box,-but i'm sufferin' from writer blocks,- ...f**...this is my struggle *maybe echo my struggle*