A beard, a beard, a beard, a beard A beard don't make you a man No it takes something else Something I'll never have And a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer A beer makes you feel good Like if you wanted you could Kick anybody's a** A knife, a knife, a knife, a knife A knife makes you feel strong With a gun you're never wrong Everybody try to stay calm I think the safety's on A car, a car, a car, a car A car means you can go Whenever you want to go With an FM radio Guitars, guitars, guitars, guitars Guitars, Thin Lizzy rocks So dust off your old stompbox and we'll run it through your Vox Amplifier Cos you're tired, you're tired, you're tired, you're tired You're tired of feeling sad Your disappointed, hurt and mad And all the poetry you've written is bad Because a pen, a pen, a pen, a pen A pen don't mean you can write You're no f**ing John Updike Even if you spell it right Just like a hardon, a hardon, a hardon, a hardon, a hardon A hardon don't mean you're in love Cos when the pushing comes to shove Do you really want to be here?