William Willson - Before I Jump lyrics

Before I jump, I stare hard at the high bar. Not far from clearing it, guess I've got to try hard. Aim far, above it, to the stars and beloveds. Not far from it, from finally freeing my dark stomach. Evil thoughts twist my mind, I don't love it. But I've got to notice I'm a tad bit rugged. I really need a plug-in, something that can help me. Standing somewhat healthy, is there something you can tell me? I could use a little helping, but with it would I be as wealthy? Assistance is a thing I've received seldom. So I guess I'm self-made with a little bit of welding. Who am I kidding, I cleared this like last week? No, that's irrelevant, don't focus on a past meet. You can do this, you're supposed to be a tracklete. Not really, they always put me in the last heat. How will I ever get big if I can't win a d*mn high school track meet? Stop focusing on the negatives, but don't look at positives. What am I supposed to do if I can't do one or the opposite? Maybe I can cop a fifth, or go find the half used top of cigs. Stop it! Shutting my mind off, it's got me nervous as a runt. Is this the sh*t I have to go through each time before I jump?