Will Varley - I Got This Email lyrics

I spent 6 hours watching TV Antiques and Jeremy Till 4 in the afternoon When my mother came in Said "it's wearing pretty thin, Son you better get a f**ing job soon" And I went on to the internet To see what jobs I could get Just to keep my mother satisfied But with my degree in aviation For every single occupation I felt somewhat over qualified Then I saw in the corner of the screen Someone had sent a message to me They put certain characters in bold I cried tears as I read Every single word they said All of my problems were solved I said "don't worry mother Cos I got this email From that prince of some country somewhere He said his plan could never fail I'll give him all my bank details And he'll make me a millionaire" Next morning I was so excited I pissed myself didn't try to hide it I had pound signs gleaming in my eyes But I went on down to Savile Row To buy myself a suit of gold But they only had silver in my size I thought what should I do with all this money Oh lord wouldn't it be funny If I bought myself a brand new limousine So I went down to the limousine shop Asked the salesman "what you got?" He just stood there staring back at me He said "I'm sorry sir we're closing down No one can afford limousines in this town I'm broke I'm bankrupt I'll have to sell my kids" I said "don't sell your children I think I can save them Come and take a look at this" I said "don't worry Mr salesman Cos I got this email From that prince of some country somewhere He said his plan could never fail I'll give him all my bank details And he'll make us both millionaires" Well me and the limousine salesman Were whistling Dixie at this point Talking about our suits of solid gold And suddenly out of the blue We saw ourselves a hippie or two And they were protesting about the war We followed them down to Number 10 Trafalgar Square then back again And then we started banging at the door We said "come on David speak to us We're tired and we're pissed off Some of us are moving to France And finally he showed his face And after him in second place Came Nick Clegg on his Game-boy Advance I said "how you doing Nick? What level you on?" He said "level 5" I said "what game you playing Nick? He said "Tetris" I said "level 5s pretty easy to get to on Tetris Nick" And then from the crowd There came a shout And everybody turned to look And in the middle of the humdrum Was David Cameron's mum Standing there shaking her She said "David what you doing? The country's in meltdown I'm buying all my knickers from Primark The people are rioting The high streets are empty The country is going to sh**" And David said "don't worry mother Cos I got this email From that prince of some country somewhere He said his plan could never fail I'll give him all our bank details And he'll make us all millionaires"