I was waiting in the express lane with my twelve items or less At the checkout counter at the local grocery store I was only pa**in' by but a paper caught my eye And I learned a few things I never knew before It said, "Your pet may be an extraterrestrial" It said, "The ghost of Elvis is living in my den You can learn to cope with stress and you can beat the IRS And the incredible frog boy is on the loose again" Oh, Midnight Star It's in the weekly Midnight Star Aliens from outer space are sleeping in my car Midnight Star, I wanna know, I wanna know Eat jelly dough nuts and lose twenty pounds a day Hear the story of the man born without a head And top psychics all agree that the telephone company Will have a brand new service that lets you talk to the dead Oh, Midnight Star You can believe it if you read it in the weekly Midnight Star They're keeping Hitler's brain alive inside a jar Midnight Star, I wanna know, I wanna know Tell me, tell me, tell me how to make my bust line grow Midnight Star, I wanna know Oh, Midnight Star, well, don't cha know that I read it I read it in the weekly Midnight Star The UFO's have landed and we'll tell you where they are Midnight Star, I wanna know, I wanna know Midnight Star Well, you can read all about it in the weekly Midnight Star You can use your ESP to learn to play guitar I wanna know, I wanna know, Midnight Star I wanna know, I wanna know, Midnight Star I wanna know, I wanna know, Midnight Star I wanna know, I wanna know, Midnight Star Inquiring minds like mine wanna know, Midnight Star I wanna know, I wanna know, Midnight Star I wanna know, I wanna know, Midnight Star I wanna know, I wanna know, Midnight Star I wanna know, I wanna know, Midnight Star I wanna know, I wanna know, Midnight Star I wanna know, I wanna know