Weird Al Yankovic - Perform This Way lyrics

My mama told me when I was hatched Act like a superstar Save your allowance, buy a bubble dress And someday you will go far Now on red carpets, well, I'm hard to miss The press follows everywhere I go I'll poke your eye out with a dress like this Back off and enjoy the show! I'm sure my critics will say it's a grotesque display Well, they can bite me, baby -- I perform this way I might be wearin' Swiss cheese or maybe covered with bees It doesn't mean I'm crazy -- I perform this way Ooo, my little monsters pay... lots 'cause I perform this way Baby, I perform this way Ooo, don't worry, I'm okay... hey, I just perform this way I'm not crazy, I perform this way I'll be a troll or evil queen I'll be a human jelly bean 'Cause every day is Halloween For me... I'm so completely original My new look is all the rage I'll wrap my small intestines 'round my neck And set fire to myself on stage I'll wear a porcupine on my head On a W-H-I-M And for no reason now I'll sing in French Excusez-moi, Qui a pété? (Who cut the cheese?) Got my straight jacket today, it's made of gold lamé No, not because I'm crazy - I perform this way I strap prime rib to my feet, cover myself with raw meat I'll bet you've never seen a skirt steak worn this way Don't be offended when you see My latest pop monstrosity I'm strange, weird, shocking, odd, bizarre I'm Frankenstein, I'm Avatar There's nothing too embarra**ing I'll honestly do anything But wear white after Labor Day 'Cause baby, I perform this way Hope you won't think it's cliché if I go nude today Don't call the cops now, baby, I perform this way No reason I should regret all the attention I get I'm not completely crazy, I perform this way, yeah I perform this way-hey, I perform this way-hey I'm always deviating from the norm this way-hey I perform this way-hey, I perform this way-hey I'm really not insane -- I just perform this way-hey