Weird Al Yankovic - True Player for Real lyrics

[Intro: MC Lars] Ladies and gentleman This is the victory anthem Welcome to This Gigantic Robot k**s We've got my childhood hero, "Weird Al" Yankovic playing accordion on this jam That means we've made it, guys This is a song about my life And it goes a little something like this [Verse 1: MC Lars] Since I was 3 I had ADHD Got in trouble constantly, said, “Just gotta be me!” Nineteen years later I've got this piece of paper It says “congrats, you're broke English major” I still live with Mom and Dad and it's kind of sad When this Stanford grad brings ladies to his pad “What up girl?” “Aren't you that rapper with that song about Hot Topic?” Maybe Bukowski was right about women? “Haha, stop it!” This is an old-school jam, I'm dropping knowledge like Plato While most rappers track it backwards and stay flat like Play-Doh But I'm a Minor Threat, I flip scripts so they know You can't taze me bro (“Don't taze me bro!”) Not to conceal, keep it surreal Piss off the British press when I'm like, “Who's John Peel?” The NME says, “Lars is well rubbish His single is bollocks,” but I know that they love this! [Hook: MC Lars] I'm MC Lars (true player for real!) TPFR (true player for real) It's my self-referential introduction song TPFR (true player for real) I'm MC Lars (true player for real!) TPFR (true player for real!) The name's MC Lars now you know the deal (true player for real) [Verse 2: MC Lars] Once upon a time Grandmaster Flash Inspired these nerds with a culture clash Once Run-DMC mixed rock guitars With the kick, snare, kick, kick, snare Public Enemy took a political stand Now we pirate these records like damn the man NWA got attacked by the media Now we check the facts up on Wikipedia Can't get on the stage at the Jay-Z show So we boot up ProTools and bust a funky flow Online for free we don't make dough Okay just thought I'd let you know And I can give you 27 reasons why Nerdcore rhymes are just as fly As anything born from mainstream rap Till my laptop dies… and I'll take that back [Hook: MC Lars] I'm MC Lars (true player for real!) TPFR (true player for real) Still my self-referential introduction song TPFR (true player for real) I'm MC Lars (true player for real!) TPFR (true player for real!) The name's MC Lars now you know the deal (true player for real) [Verse 3: MC Lars] Like Ralph Waldo Emerson, I stay “Self Reliant” Genre-defiant, all ages shows with Kobe Bryant I just checked Billboard, my album's in the charts I think therefore I soundscan, right Descartes? But am I a culture thief making hip-hop sound white? Haven't got the right like Lancelot the knight? No, Camelot's a myth, and Guinevere's a s*ut So I'll jump into this mosh pit, pants sagging like “What!”… key change [Hook: MC Lars] I'm MC Lars (true player for real!) TPFR (true player for real) Still my self-referential introduction song TPFR (true player for real) I'm MC Lars (true player for real!) TPFR (true player for real!) The name's MC Lars now you know the deal (true player for real) [Outro: MC Lars] I k** it on stage, with two DI's, why? Post-punk laptop rap is the new DIY (true player for real!) TPFR (true player for real) I k** it on stage, with two DI's, why? Post-punk laptop rap is the new DIY TPFR (true player for real) TPFR (true player for real) True player…. true player