Mom made my s** She knitted it with her hands Sex-making is A family tradition Going back to the caveman days They were walking around in a haze Until they figured it out And they said "Gosh dang, this is great!" But now I'm like a prehistoric screwball Walking 'round with no s** at all, I said Where's my s**? I thought it was here Under the bench But it isn't there I've got no idea where it disappeared to I'm running late, I can't be late I can't go out without my s** It's cold outside if my toes get wet And people will think that I'm an alien Just cruising in to make a friend Meg likes to hide it She says that it gives her a kick It may be under the rug Or stuck in a shoe closet Or tumbling round in the washing machine She's always trying to get me clean She adds detergent and Bounce to eliminate static cling It's gonna be another hour or more Till I am ready to walk out the door, I said Where's my s**? I thought it was here Under the bench But it isn't there I've got no idea where it disappeared to I'm running late, I can't be late I can't go out without my s** It's cold outside if my toes get wet And people will think that I'm an alien Just cruising in to make a friend People can you hear me talking I know you all are happy, rawking Could you lend me a dime . . . pretty please? Brother, sister got time? I got no-- Sex on my feet Sex in my drawer Sex in my shoes Or s** on the floor, I said Where's my s**? I thought it was here Under the bench But it isn't there I've got no idea where it disappeared to I'm running late, I can't be late I can't go out without my s** It's cold outside if my toes get wet And people will think that I'm an alien Just cruising in to make a friend