Wayne Kirkpatrick - A Musical lyrics

[Discussion of musicals and where they are performed] [Spoken: Nick Bottom and Nostradamus] What the hell are musicals? It appears to be a play where the dialog stops and the plot is conveyed through song Through song? Yes Wait, wait, wait, so an actor is saying his lines and then out of nowhere he just starts singing? Yes Well that is the— [Intro: NICK] Stupidest thing that I have ever heard You're doing a play, got something to say So you sing it? It's absurd Who on Earth is going to sit there While an actor breaks into song? What possible thought could the audience think Other than "this is horribly wrong?" [Spoken: NOSTRADAMUS (NICK)] Remarkably, they won't think that (Seriously? Why not?) Because— [Chorus 1: NOSTRADAMUS] It's... a... musical A musical And nothing's as amazing as a Musical With song and dance And sweet romance And happy endings happening By happenstance Bright lights, stage fights And a dazzling chorus You wanna be great, then you gotta create A musical [Spoken: NICK] I don't know, I find it hard to believe people would actually pay to see something like this [Verse 1: NOSTRADAMUS] Let's just say it's a Saturday night And you wanna go out on the town Got a lady to flatter who might Give it up if you don't let her down You could go see a tragedy But that wouldn't be very fun Or a play from Greek mythology See a mother have s** with her son You could go see a drama With all of that trauma and pain Or go see something more relaxing And less taxing on the brain [Chorus 2: NOSTRADAMUS (ENSEMBLE)] Go... see... a... musical A musical A poppy piece releasing all your Blues-icals Where crooners croon (Ahh) A catchy tune And limber-legged ladies thrill you Till you swoon Ooh's, ahh's, big applause And a standing ovation The future is bright if you could just write A musical [Verse 2: NOSTRADAMUS (ENSEMBLE)] Some make you happy Some make you sad Some are quite big Some quite small Some are too long Some are just plays with song (Ahh) Some musicals have No talking at all [Verse 3: NOSTRADAMUS (Spoken: NICK)] (No talking at all?) That's right, there's no talking All of the dialog is sung in a very dramatic fashion (Um, really?) Yes, really (There's no talk—) There's no talking And they often stay on one note for a very long time So that when they change to a different note,...you notice And it's supposed to create a dramatic effect But mostly you just sit there asking yourself, "why aren't they talking?" (Sounds miserable) I believe it's pronounced "misérables" (And people actually like this?) No! They love it! And what's not to love? [Refrain: NOSTRADAMUS] It's such a delight, there's nothing quite like A musical [Spoken: NOSTRADAMUS] Ooh! Another vision! I haven't even told you the best part yet! [Verse 4: NOSTRADAMUS (Spoken: NICK)] Feel that fascinating rhythm Move into your feet (Uh, what is that?) Feel your a** gyrating To that titillating beat (Ooh, are you OK?) You slap your lap Then finger-snap That's when you know it's time to tap (What the hell are you doing now?) It's called a dance break Apparently this happens in musicals as well People on stage just burst into spontaneous dance (Why? Does it advance the plot?) No (Advance character?) Not necessarily (Then why do it?) Because it's entertaining 5-6-7-8! [Dance Break] [Spoken: NOSTRADAMUS] Another vision! [Verse 5: NOSTRADAMUS (ENSEMBLE)] It's a musical What do you talk? What do you talk? It's a musical! A Seussical? No, a musical with girls on stage (A musical) We've got snappy repartee And the women are risqué And the chorus boys are kinda gay (A musical) A true, blue, new Musical [Verse 6: NOSTRADAMUS (ENSEMBLE)] Stand back! It's a musical! Some musicals are very serious A big, glittering (musical, a musical) [Musical Reference] (It's a mu-si-cal for us) [Musical Reference] A big and shiny, mighty fine-y Glitter, glitz, and chorus line-y Bob your head and shake your heiney Musical! [Verse 7: NOSTRADAMUS (ENSEMBLE)] It's a musical (It's a musical) It is a musical (It's a musical) [Spoken: NICK] Yes! I get it now! [Chorus 3: NICK (NOSTRADAMUS) {BOTH}] We'll... do... a... musical (No kidding!) A musical What could be more amazing than A musical? With song and dance And sweet romance And with a musical we might have Half a chance {Ooh's, ahh's, big applause} {With everyone cheering for us} [Musical Reference] [Verse 8: NOSTRADAMUS And for some unexplainable reason The crowd goes wild every time When dancers kick in unison In one big wonderful line [Chorus 4: All] And then you got yourself a musical A musical A la-la-la-la-la-la-la Palooz-ical With flashy style And a big, fake smile A snazzy band, some jazzy hands I swear that I'll Cross my heart, hope to die If it isn't a doozy [Outro: NOSTRADAMUS] Take it from me They'll be flocking to see (Your star-lit) (Won't quit) (Big hit) (Musical) {A big hit musical}