Wainwright Loudon - Good Ship Venus lyrics

We sailed upon the good ship Venus By Christ you should have seen us The figurehead was a who*e in bed The mast an upright penis The captain's name was Lugger By Christ he was a bugger He wasn't fit to shovel sh** From one ship to another And the second mate was Andy By Christ he had a dandy Till they crushed his co*k on a jagged rock For cumming in the brandy The third mate's name was Morgan By God he was a gorgon From half past eight he played till late Upon the captain's organ The captain's wife was Mabel And by God was she able The crew, those sh**s, nailed her tits Right to the mess room table The captain's daughter Charlotte Was born and bred a harlot Her thighs at night were lily white By morning they were scarlet The cabin boy was Kipper By Christ he was a nipper He stuffed his a** with broken gla** And circumcised the skipper The captain's lovely daughter Liked swimming in the water Delighted squeals came when some eels Found her s**ual quarters The cook his name was Freeman And he was a dirty demon And he fed the crew on menstrual stew And hymens fried in semen And the ship's dog was called Rover And we turned the poor thing over And ground and ground that faithful hound From Teneriff to Dover When we reached our station Through sk**ful navigation The ship got sunk in a wave of spunk From too much fornication On the good ship Venus By Christ you should have seen us The figurehead was a who*e in bed s**ing a dead man's penis