Wagner: R&B Superstar - Bedtime Story lyrics

[Intro] It's your boy, Wagner Now you know most my nights end with no fewer than five breasts in my face But other nights, sigh, other nights can be hard This song here is about those rare nights, those oh-so-rare nights, where I just can't seem to get any [Verse 1] I'm banned from the strip club ‘cause I treated ladies wrong Could not return the fifty bucks I "borrowed" from each thong I hit the beach to s** toes, I'm beaten to it by sharks My booty call's a bummer -- her overdose made her dark Hoes' vulvas got the gangrene, my glory holes have been plastered My face don't smell like jeans, tonight is a huge disaster But I don't need a model or an actress Imma do like back in my day -- f** my mattress [Hook 1] Pillow biting, bedpost-stroking Thread-tugging, blanket choking Linen-licking, headboard-crunching, fabric-s**ing, cushion-munching Bed-frame bouncing, bedsheet-soaking, bedspring-greasing, mattress-poking Hit that mattress 'til it spurts out fibers, what a sight Bed, you really lucky I'm a pillow biter tonight Oh yeah, you so lucky, you so lucky lucky lucky I'm a pillow biter tonight [Bridge] A mattress took my innocence at just the age of twelve So I'll return the favor, beat this new bed with my pelve [Verse 2] No scolding when I hike up that bedskirt and get to lovin' All types of pillows join in the fun, even a husband My bed don't judge my stains or blurting of cousins' names Don't whine about back pains or air cut off from its brains Thank friction, I finish, ain't no cuddlin', that's absurd Bed's wet, soiled, and nasty now, I toss that thang to the curb You gave it up easy, bed, that's why you get no respect Alone I sleep on the floor and in my dreams I reflect (on my) [Hook 2] Pillow-biting, bed-frame twisting Cushion groping, bedspring fisting Fabric-flicking, quilt-ripping, bedskirt-lifting, mattress flipping Linen-diddling, cotton-swapping, oh the thought has got me sopping Thrust and thrust that mattress til its layers all tear apart Yeah, I know I dissed you, bed, but you are still in my heart