W.S. Gilbert - When Frederic Was a Little Lad lyrics

[RUTH] When Fred'ric was a little lad He proved so brave and daring, His father thought he'd 'prentice him To some career seafaring. I was, alas! his nurs'ry maid, And so it fell to my lot To take and bing the promising boy Apprentice to a pilot; A life not bad for a hardy lad, Though surely not a high lot, Though I'm a nurse, you might do worse, Than make your boy a pilot! I was a stupid nurs'ry maid, On breakers always steering, And I did not catch the word aright, Through being hard of hearing; Mistaking my instructions, which Within my brain did gyrate, I took and bound this promising boy Apprentice to a pirate! A sad mistake it was to make, And doom him to a vile lot, I bound him to a pirate - you! Instead of to a pilot! I soon found out, beyond all doubt, The scope of this disaster, But I hadn't the face to return to my place, And break it to my master. A nurs'ry maid is not afraid Of what you people call work, So I made up my mind to go as a kind Of piratical maid-of-all-work. And that is how you find me now, A member of your shy lot, Which you wouldn't have found, had he been bound Apprentice to a pilot! (spoken) Oh, pardon! Frederic, pardon! [FREDERIC, spoken] Rise, sweet one, I have long pardoned you. [RUTH, spoken] The two words were so much alike! [FREDERIC, spoken] They were. They still are, though years have rolled over their heads. But this afternoon my obligation ceases. Individually, I love you all with affection unspeakable; but, collectively, I look upon you with a disgust that amounts to absolute detestation. Oh! pity me, my beloved friends, for such is my sense of duty that, once out of my indentures, I shall feel myself bound to devote myself heart and soul to your extermination! [ALL, spoken] Poor lad – poor lad! [KING, spoken] Well, Frederic, if you conscientiously feel that it is your duty to destroy us, we cannot blame you for acting on that conviction. Always act in accordance with the dictates of your conscience, my boy, and chance the consequences. [SAMUEL, spoken] Besides, we can offer you but little temptation to remain with us. We don't seem to make piracy pay. I'm sure I don't know why, but we don't. [FREDERIC, spoken] I know why, but, alas! I mustn't tell you; it wouldn't be right. [KING, spoken] Why not, my boy? It's only half-past eleven, and you are one of us until the clock strikes twelve. [SAMUEL, spoken] True, and until then you are bound to protect our interests. [ALL, spoken] Hear, hear!