Vivian Blaine - Adelaide's Lament lyrics

[ADELAIDE] It says here: The average unmarried female Basically insecure Due to some long frustration may react With psychosomatic symptoms Difficult to endure Affecting the upper respiratory tract In other words, just from waiting around for that plain little band of gold A person can develop a cold You can spray her wherever you figure there's streptococci lurk You can give her a shot for whatever's she's got, but it just won't work If she's tired of getting the fish eye from the hotel clerk A person can develop a cold It says here: The female remaining single Just in the legal sense Shows a neurotic tendency, see note: (looks at note) Chronic organic symptoms Toxic or hyper tense Involving the eye, the ear, the nose, and throat In other words, just from worrying if the wedding is on or off A person can develop a cough You can feed her all day with the vitamin A and the bromofizz But the medicine never gets anywhere near where the trouble is If she's getting a kind of name for herself, and the name ain't his A person can develop a cough And further more, just from stalling, and stalling And stalling the wedding trip A person can develop la grippe When they get on that train to Niagara And she can hear church bells chime The compartment is air conditioned And the mood sublime Then they get off at Saratoga for the fourteenth time! A person can develop la grippe La grippe La post nasal drip With the wheezes And the sneezes And a sinus that's really a pip! From a lack of community property And a feeling she's getting to old A person can develop a bad, bad cold! (ADELAIDE sneezes)