Vanessa Bayer - Crucible Cast Party lyrics

[Aidy Bryant] But witchcraft be a wicked thing, John Proctor. [Kyle Mooney] He cannot hide his sins anymore. [Kate McKinnon] He hath his goodness now. I shall not take it from him. [All] God rest his soul. [Kate McKinnon] Oh hey, we just finished our high school performance of The Crucible. [Aidy Bryant] And we didn't mess up at all. [Cecily Strong] So now it's time to get nasty at the horniest event in town. [Melissa Villaseñor] That's right: it's the cast party. [Vanessa Bayer] This year, it's at Cody Shuck's house. [Kate McKinnon] And we're gonna rip it up all night Until 11:45. [Cecily Strong] Gonna hit the party like I just hit all my cues Making eyes at guys as tan as my character shoes [Vanessa Bayer] My parents gave me a bouquet But tonight I need my hands free [Melissa Villaseñor] I'm the baddest b**h in sight Who played a witch tonight [Kate McKinnon] I see Zachary Marchelli, gonna help him get it up Hope he likes a s**y teen in old age makeup Gonna hit him with some moves, the most risqué I know It's the choreography from Chicago [Aidy Bryant] All around the room, every boy wants me Which one will I choose, every boy wants a piece At the [Lin-Manuel-Miranda] Crucible Cast Party Crucible Cast Party 25 virgins and a lot of Sprite at the Crucible Cast Party [Girls] Waah! [Vanessa Bayer] Got my eye on Alex Bard, wanna bone but I don't know how So I'm gonna steal his hat from him and just sort of walk around [Melissa Villaseñor] Damn, this party's off the chain It's a 10 PM ma**age train [Cecily Strong] But all the lights must stay on That's a rule from Cody's mom [Kate McKinnon] Mikey Mazzerino got a stylin' cigarette I take a puff so he can see how nasty I can get Then I call my mom and dad, I tell 'em everything [Girls] 'Cause if we don't have our parents' trust, we don't have anything [Aidy Bryant] Grab the cutest boy and steal him away Close and lock the door, and watch a DVD of our play What say you, Goody Proctor? Aidy: You were so good in that scene. Kyle Mooney: You were, too. Aidy: Um, what do you wanna do now? Kyle: I dunno. Maybe we could… go and get some pretzels? Aidy: Aw, heck yeah, I love pretzels. At the [Lin-Manuel Miranda] Crucible Cast Party Crucible Cast Party Everybody comes but nobody nuts at the Crucible Cast Party [Girls] Waah! [Lin Manuel Miranda] Yo, I'm senior Cody Shuck, you are all in luck They call me Mr. Triple Threat cause I can dance, sing, and f**k That's why I'm always the lead, the parents all come to see me I was the Phantom in Phantom and I was Sweeney in Sweeney And now I'm here to get freaky, so ladies, take off your tops And come over and get a show shirt outta this box Your names are listed alphabetically, incredibly legible And if you were on the crew, then you're in a parenthetical I got b**hes all around me and they're down on their knees Begging, "Will you sign my poster for my bedroom, please?" Now here's a big secret, don't ask how I know this But if you s** me right tonight I'll tell you what the spring show is I'll lay you on the bed and whisper in your ear That Mrs. Donahue said we could do RENT this year I can't wait for rehearsal, I'mma be in it to win it We start in 525,600 minutes [Melissa Villaseñor] Oh yeah! [Lin-Manuel Miranda] At the Crucible Cast Party Crucible Cast Party It's kind of weird that our teacher came to the Crucible Cast Party Crucible Cast Party Crucible Cast Party Worked up virgins who love to sing [All] At the Crucible Cast Party [Girls] (vocalizing) Party, party, oh, yeah [Cody's Mom] Enough! [Lin Manuel Miranda] Mom! [Girls] Crucible Cast Party Waah!