Val Doonican - Delaney's donkey lyrics

Now Delaney had a donkey that everyone admired Temporarily lazy and permanently tired A leg at every corner balancing his head And a tail to let you know which end he wanted to be fed Riley slyly said we've underrated it, why not train it, then they took a rag They rubbed it, scrubbed it, they oiled and embrocated it Got it at the post and when the starter dropped the flag There was Riley pushin' it, shovin' it, shushin' it Hogan, Logan and everyone in town Lined up, attackin' it and shovin' it and smackin' it They might as well have tried to push the Town Hall down The donkey was eyein' them, openly defyin' them Winkin', blinkin' and twistin' out of place Riley reversin' it, everybody cursin' it The day Delaney's donkey ran the halfmile race The muscles of the mighty never known to flinch They couldn't move the donkey a quarter of an inch Delaney lay exhausted, hangin' round his throat With a grip just like a Scotsman on the five pound note Starter, Carter, he lined up with the rest of them When it saw them, it was willin' then It raced up, braced up, ready for the best of them They started off to cheer it but it changed its mind again And there was Riley pushin' it, shovin' it, shushin' it Hogan, Logan and Mary Ann Macgraw She started pokin' it an' grabbin' it an' chokin' it It kicked her in the bustle and it laughed hee-hah The whigs and conservatives, the radical superlatives Liberals and tories, they hurried to the place Stood there in unity, helpin' the community The day Delaney's donkey ran the halfmile race The crowd began to cheer it, then Rafferty, the judge He came up to a**ist them, but still it wouldn't bud