Ubiquitous (Battle Rapper) - Sketch Menace & Nebula vs Chedda Cheese & Ubiquitous lyrics

[Round 1: Sketch Menace] Now there's a lot of ladies out here today but still I think the numbers could be higher Well I guess that's what we get for letting Chedda take his shirt on the flier [Nebula] Chedda your face is full of cataclysms I'm a skinny guy due to a high metabolism But this guy's diet plan was highly lacked nutrition Cause you got the body type of a dying cancer victim [Sketch Menace] It looks like your face is covered in bee stings, all bleeding and scarred You're about to catch a beating, you rock a set of g-strings for arms {Nebula chokes for 25 seconds} [Sketch Menace] And both of y'all are pathetic but I'd say it's clear which one's the better rapper What are you doing teaming with an Asian for? We all know Cheese goes best with crackers [Nebula] See Chedda you already know that you can barely could rap I'm airing you out and I'm baring the facts You're apparently arrogant you inherited that You need to admit your gimmick and image is making you known as a parody act [Sketch Menace] So I wanna know, how many people here came solely for Ubiquitous? I hope you know now when it comes to your name in this battle league that no one really gives a sh** See everyone knows you s** I've heard him openly admit the sh** If battle rap was weed you both would be the Snicklefritz [Nebula] And Ubiquitous, what was up with that last battle? It was awful and a disgrace You tried to think outside of the box and it just looked awkward and out of place [Sketch Menace] See when he battled Fredo, he was standing like this With his hands on his hips And rapping like an angry dad that was getting mad at his kids [Nebula] See that battle was sh**, he tried to be more creative than he actually is And the saddest thing is, well after that I let him get on a track with us back at my crib But your verse s**ed it was terrible and embarra**ing buddy Your overall worth as a rapper is apparently nothing It took you two days to write those wack bars and you barely could touch me You left that track scarred like a h**n junkie [Sketch Menace] Whoa, whoa! Let me switch the tone a little See Chedda's mom is a big lady, she doesn't do much moving around Now I ain't never met her but I'm damn sure she needs to start losing some pounds Well cause we all know Chedda Cheese is produced from a cow [Nebula] f** yeah she's a fatty and plus the b**h is sleazy Your mom's p**y is like the strip club, people call it The Big Easy [Round 1: Ubiquitous] Yo, your lines f**ing s** and you know it You guys lines are like the stamps on our arms, complete and udder bullsh** [Chedda Cheese] Yeah I took my shirt off on the flier but your picture was awkward too He's like, "Yeah I love standing next to a topless dude." [Ubiquitous] And you're not a Voltron gangster, you're like Voltron Klingon I-your shirt is like-I took your shirt, I fisted it like- [Chedda Cheese] Yeah I'm a skinny guy probably not in the best shape But you should do like my metabolism and drop some dead weight [Ubiquitous] And I've been trying to battle them both but they're too chicken, ducking me like I'm unknown So now I get to k** two birds with one stone [Chedda Cheese] So if you thought you had some fame you're only tripping off his star dust Not a dollar to your name now even just a couple Starbucks And just cause you're a Nebula you think that you're a star but This Nebula could punch me and I still wouldn't be star struck [Ubiquitous] And how are you the worst but claim you're top in all the city? They gave you HFK and F.L.O. who you robbed along with Tricky And now you get a title shot, that's awfully f**ing fishy Cause you s**ing off the president like Monica Lewinsky And you aren't a real rapper you ain't even got the basics Jeff created you without him you would not have made it See when I flow I got him thinking this my occupation Watch a real artist k** a Sketch that G.O.D. created [Chedda Cheese] And I hate Nebula more than anyone will ever know So much that I'ma travel back in time to when they settled Rome Formula the best approach and come up with a clever hoax To make sure no astronomers will ever build a telescope And your girlfriends have a secret that'll probably seem tragic Let's just say I wasn't hungry but we made a Cheese sandwich [Ubiquitous] And we took a trip to Oakland with this douche and as far as the battles go We should've called it The Sketch Loves California Rapper's Show Telling everyone [Chedda Cheese] I'm a big fan of your rappity rapper flow [Ubiquitous] The way you were dick riding the West your name should be Amber Rose You got a real dumb name [Chedda Cheese] Pa**ion fruit, you 'bout to go to go down easy [Ubiquitous] Apple juice, I'll send you off in a box [Chedda Cheese] Cans of food You're not fat but you're chunky [Both] Campbell Soup [Ubiquitous] See me and Chedda go together like motion sensors at smoke detectors [Chedda Cheese] Snowy weather in cold Decembers [Ubiquitous] Goal defenders and open netters [Chedda Cheese] Souls and treasures [Ubiquitous] Bones and scepters [Chedda Cheese] Jokes and jesters [Ubiquitous] Bones and feathers [Chedda Cheese] Snow and leopards [Ubiquitous] Chrome and leathers [Both] Poet shows with no attenders [Round 2: Nebula] Now we were gonna talk about how his people have some of the littlest dicks Let the cat out the bag on some stereotypical sh** Y'all know what Ubiquitous did? [Sketch Menace] Try and get you karate style with a swift upper kick? [Nebula] Nah, but when I mentioned the word "cat" he just started licking his lips [Sketch Menace] So if you want to arrive alive [Nebula] Don't ask this guy to drive [Sketch Menace] See he's actually got tiny eyes But thanks to his heritage, sh** this guy's bitter When he goes shopping for gla**es he'll even get them a size thicker Just so it'll make his eye's bigger [Nebula] He even thinks he could be a famous rapper but it'll never happen in this lifetime It crushed his dreams of Asians in the main stream when he found out Yelawolf was a white guy [Sketch Menace] See I kicked it with these guys once and it got bad I won't lie I pulled out a joint while we kicked back and wrote rhymes I offered a joint to Ubiquitous he started saying "No" waving his hands to both sides With his shirt over his mouth like [Nebula] "That's gross guys." [Sketch Menace] I was like, "Man are you hopeless." So I tried pa**ing it to Chedda he was like [Nebula] "How do I hold it?" [Sketch Menace] Just pretend like you're handling your partner's little dangling scrotum [Nebula] See you guys are just a couple of fun sponges that never did anything in their past to mention I bet back in school you both attended every cla** and never had detention Well I'm about to put the cla** in [?] session You got no street smarts and you lack direction Their only bad intentions are the little half erections they get from stamp collections [Sketch Menace] And we ain't friends anymore bud! I f**ing hate Ubiquitous If I saw a dog attacking you, I wouldn't give a sh** But while the thing was biting you and ripping you to bits I'd just think to myself, "Damn...karma really is a b**h." [Nebula] And when you battled Lexington you were getting fat and out of shape with a gut [Sketch Menace] Because of your weight you hated yourself it was blatant as f** [Nebula] But since then you must've been working out, dropping pounds like every day of the month But if he was fat and Chinese... [Sketch Menace] I guess that would've made him a chunk [Nebula] And Chedda, when you rap it leaves us feeling awkward and uneasy You'll be all like, "I'm ripping this pitiful kid with syllables all the people will believe me But when I start rapping like this you know that I sound like I'm nothing but Weezy He thinks he's the big Cheese but you need to stop you're beneath me I'll hit him with a bit of the rhythm and put him in a box and say 'Cheesy'!" [Sketch Menace] See you going up against us was the worst choice in the world You're like Bart Simpson just a little boy with the voice of a girl [Round 2: Ubiquitous] Hey a**hole you talk sh** about the Asians? That don't bother me neither Cause to the female I'm the Chinese Justin Bieber You girlfriend take one look at my dick and she went along either Hey it'sa not my fault your girl caught the yellow fever [Chedda Cheese] Yo, and you calling me a little boy, I saw that coming from a mile away No I'm not a little boy but beating you is Child's Play [Ubiquitous] And yes I lost weight cause I've been working out a lot So don't make me do you like I did my belt and take you down a notch [Chedda Cheese] And no we don't smoke any weed but even though we've been afraid to We still rolled up in this joint with some blunt (w)raps and blazed you [Ubiquitous] Sketch, you base your entire life around these battle raps and rhyme schemes Like this one time when you came across a homicidal crime scene [Chedda Cheese] When everyone else was gone Sketch stuck around and lolligagged Made sure nobody could hear him then he yelled out "body bag!" Another time his girlfriend started choking on her dinner but meanwhile Instead of performing the Heimlich he just screamed out [Ubiquitous] "Freestyle!" And Neb's got a cranium like Rihanna [Chedda Cheese] Yeah exactly, that's what I said He wanted a high five so I slapped him in his five head [Ubiquitous] And your crew's name is The Poets? Yes it is stupid They're vets but I have never been impressed by their music In retrospect you better check for Neb's execution Cause I put an end to poets like the French Revolution [Chedda Cheese] So you won a couple battles but you'll still never drop an astounding verse [Ubiquitous] Yet you think you're at the top cause you're clueless to how it works [Chedda Cheese] Big headed and egotistical, acting so proud it hurts [Ubiquitous] Nebula is a fitting name cause you never been down to Earth And when Nebula doesn't get his Milky Way he star(t)s to get blue [Chedda Cheese] If it's any constellation (consolation) the universe doesn't revolve around you [Ubiquitous] You can't tell that you're out of place [CC] Your head is in outer space [U] A pansy poet popping pills with a permanent pouty face [CC] Without outlining your fate [U] Your whole future just got erased [CC] That's how you make an entire Sketch vanish without a trace [Round 3: Sketch Menace] See your name means to be everywhere at once And you're teaming up with Chedda Cheese on some raping little infants sh** So you could say that the pedophile problem in North America could simply be labeled as "ubiquitous" See you were off to the school yard wearing a smile all laughing and waving [Nebula] Secretly waited for the perfect chance to snatch him up, wrap him up and rape him [Sketch Menace] But then you spot Chedda Cheese, grab him, throw him in the back of your van and tape him [Nebula] But then he panics and peels off [Sketch Menace] And then he crashed cause he's Asian [Nebula] See Chedda you wanna be a dope act like Math, Dose and Solomon But you can't bro you crack jokes, got no fans, hoes or following No backbone, you're flat broke and your rap flows need polishing Chedda Cheese you make me f**ing sick [Sketch Menace] Lactose intolerant! [Nebula] And you're so white and pale you look unhealthy and need sunshine You're so skinny I bet you hate food and get grumpy when it's lunchtime You smell funky like a muff dive, you're ugly and you're tongue tied And with acne like that your face is more bumpy than a bus ride [Sketch Menace] See Paul here is in medical school and he gets hara**ed by his estranged father He yells and tells him to train harder So for Paul Hung and Shea Rogers Well they don't need an excuse to get naked and play doctor [Nebula] But f** you and Chedda's games of doctor/patient [Sketch Menace] You're not qualified for sh**, you need a change of occupation So I'll pull out the scalpel and put the blade to this co*ky Asian And start pulling out your insides like I was playing a game of Operation [Nebula] But wait, what the f** does Chedda do for a living? [Sketch Menace] Well remember he's the DJ at the strip club so he should be a player, know how to get the ladies naked and break rappers Like Snoop Dogg or Too $hort would be people he'd take after [Nebula] But he does none of those things, he doesn't get brain, laid or date dancers [Sketch Menace] I know I asked him if he was gay and he wouldn't even give me a straight answer [Nebula] See you two kids are just a couple of fans of me You don't know what it's like to have a b**h on her hands and knees You probably never brought a broad back to your bachelor suite Smashed it and had her scream You've never had a shorty's a** to squeeze let alone get past her jeans You live at home with your parents Chedda, there ain't no Mac(k) in Cheese [Sketch Menace] And you're the lamest dude I ever met I knew it from the second that you stepped into the cipher Always acting like you're on a level higher Just cause you've never drinked and high and you're never medicated either [Nebula] So he's the sober guy that's Asian [Sketch Menace] So we'd even hesitate to be our designated driver But thanks to Chedda's face sh** this guy is never bored He's into some kind of tai chi fetish p**n So to Ubiquitous your face is one giant metaphor for a Chinese checker board [Nebula] And you may have some swagger to ya but behind the rhythm your sh** is simple This little b**h looks sick and brittle and with a face like that he really puts the "pimp" in "pimple" [Round 3: Chedda Cheese] Yeah we live with our parents so what? I don't care that it bugs you It's apparent you're just jealous cause your parents don't love you [Ubiquitous] And yeah I'm becoming a doctor cause that's where all the cash is at So let me drop some knowledge in the context of a battle rap Your sister let me film her bending backwards like an acrobat Until we made the lens fog up like a cataract [Chedda Cheese] And you can make fun of my job but I don't care to intervene Cause if it wasn't for strippers you would've never met Mary and Kristine [Kristine] We're fighting after this [Chedda Cheese] Now we might be some back packer, wack, backwards a** crackers But compared to you we sound like a couple of Smack rappers [U] So we 'bout to the let the [C] Lead pop [U] Knock you out your [C] Dress socks [U] Check, co*k [C] Get dropped [U] Red dot [C] Head shot [Ubiquitous] They're a couple of ba** heads I had these two mistaken for ravers You could say that their brains are recuperating from failure Type of stoners who just love hallucinating on vapors like [Chedda Cheese] Duuuude, I'm communicating with nature [Ubiquitous] The type of paranoid hippies who would come up with conspicuous plans and say [Chedda Cheese] The government is listening man Wow, you got some creepy a** facial hair that you think is un-achievable Like, "Uh my perm stash is so unbelievable." [Ubiquitous] And these two are so low on cash it's a crisis Drop a loony and watch them hov' around the dollar like gas station prices [Chedda Cheese] But me? I'm tighter than emo jeans on Cee-Lo Green You looking at both of us wondering how we can be so mean [Ubiquitous] You never gon' reach those speeds cause you rap at a sluggish pace If you were a Word document, you would be double spaced [Chedda Cheese] Yes your rap is lethargic and all your tracks have been garbage So although your name is Sketch you're not an actual artist You live under a rock, you're slightly fat and retarded [Ubiquitous] And you talk like this [Chedda Cheese] You're Patrick The Starfish [Ubiquitous] And when it comes to Spongebob references it's easy to see we got 'em Cause your girlfriend's the one with Krusty Krabs in her bikini bottom [Chedda Cheese] So step and you'll get wrecked I said it and yes Sketch is known for referencing his city to get some respect, yet To instead rep the American flag is your best bet Cause you're really a white [U] Trash [C] Blue [U] Collar [C] Red [U] Neck [Chedda Cheese] And you know that we're bringing the [U] Chemistry [C] Every [U] Line [C] Building a [U] Legacy [C] Together and [U] Shine [C] But it be permanent [U] Winning the tournament [C] Is really a matter of [U] TIME! [Chedda Cheese] [Chedda Cheese] [Chedda Cheese] [Chedda Cheese]