Tyler Joseph - Original Christmas Songs lyrics

[Tune of Jingle Bells] Jingle bells, jingle bells Jingle all the way... (Pause) Oh what fun it is to ride In a one horse open sleigh, hey!... (Pause) Jingle bells, jingle bells Jingle all the way Oh what fun it is to ride... (Pause) In a one horse open sleigh, hey! We should have fit more lines On each paper that would be So much less awkward for us But that would be too ea... sy, oh! Jingle bells, jingle bells Jingle all the way Oh what fun it is to ride In a one horse open... (Pause) Sleigh [Tune of Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer] I ate gingerbread frosted and cinnamon cookies Rudolph and Santa and snowman shaped cookies And if I recall I ate an entire cheese ball Why do i just keep eating? I just ate a whole turkey Three pounds of mashed potatoes Someone take my fork from me Egg nog, fruitcake, candy canes Grandma's pumpkin pie I just ate an ornament I am probably going to die Why do I just keep eating? I must have a hollow leg Where could the food be going? I'm in so much freaking pain [Tune of Frosty the Snowman] The family's together to celebrate this day There's been three fights and a broken nose all involving Grandma Fey I'm hiding in the attic until they go away Uncle Jeff just climbed the Christmas tree cause he's crazier than Kanye I'd rather poke myself in the eye with a sharp stick Than sit around and listen to them argue politics So I'm up for adoption Somebody please take me Oh I beg and plea Won't somebody save me from my family [Tune of Feliz Navidad] Excuse me, I saw what you did I just let you merge in traffic You pretend like it didn't happen But I can see you in your car You didn't even give the hand wave Or the popular silent "thank you" So a gift from you from the middle of my hand It's a finger! At least give a nod At least give a nod Is that so hard for you to do just to give a nod Solo! (Tyler plays uke solo) [Tune of Santa Clause is Coming To Town] Do do do Do do do do do Do do do Do do do do do Santa Clause at the mall is creepy this year His beard is crooked That's a pillow in his gut I'm pretty sure I saw him slap an elf on the bu*t Santa Clause at the mall is creepy this year Now I'm sitting on his lap Says I'm a great sitter Then he says, "Your band is trash but still follow me on twitter" Santa Clause at the mall is creepy this year He knows he smells like tacos He knows that I'm uncomfortable He knows that we should have picked a better word to rhyme with than uncomfortable Posing for the picture What's he doing with his hand? Then he whispers, "You're my second favourite member of your band" (Spoken) Cause there's two of them, there's two and he's the second favourite - Josh is awesome Santa Clause at the mall is creepy this year Santa Clause at the mall is creepy this year