{verse 1} 20 years of living on earth I'm filled with pain and it hurts I know that life is a blessing, but i'm still stressing 'cuz i feel cursed I can't open up 'cuz every time i do, it just makes everything worse Anger, depression and sadness, why do i have this? why can't i let it disperse? I might burst if i can't control it, it's not my fault i been broken I'm just used to everyone foldin', my brain and heart's all swollen And i already know if, i keep containin' all my emotions I'll start explodin', can't even hide this pain by smokin' I hate being alone, i want a girl i can call my own With no doubts on the words out her mouth, but i can't even get a text back on my phone So i gotta get stoned, whether i'm out or chillin' at home Pick up a pencil, play instrumentals then you know i'm in my zone What's the point of all this cash, if there's no respect? I try to be there for everyone, but when it comes to my ass, they fast to forget I just be tryin' not to mind it, but alas it's havin' me stressed All of this trauma got to my head; that's a fact i wanna reject How can i act like life is the best? when i reside in the state of america Everyone's fast to rack up a mess, but they on my neck if i'm breakin' my character I hate the fact, there's no respect for us blacks, they actin' like they scared of us sh*t is so wack, and i just be sittin' back and thinkin' that nobody care for us But i don't know, why i smoke and drink like this, why do i always think like this Maybe it's cuz i'm aware that my life can be took so quick in a blink like this With no way to stop it, so day by day i'm watchin' 'cuz where i'm from, these ni**as full of hate they straight up plottin' {verse 2} When i wake up i gotta bake up just to keep my sanity I'm so paranoid that sometimes i can't even trust my family But there's no reason behind it, that's just the way i feel Maybe the whole world might be better off on the very day i'm killed I still don't know why i'm like this, i'm alive but i feel so lifeless I don't understand how folks do wrong all the time instead of being righteous It makes me so damn mad, that i walk around all day with a tight fist Sometimes i just wanna swing on the next motherfu*ker that think he could try sh*t And i just don't know, why a ni**a got all these problems Or what had caused 'em, and i'm not too sure if i'll ever solve 'em I lost some friends and i hate it but i'll make it with or without 'em But rather than talking about it, just sit back and listen to the album