Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps - We Need Some Slags lyrics

We need some slags and we need lots of 'em 'Cause we're going on the pull tonight When we've got slags and we got lots of 'em They'll cheer you up and make it right But I'm not coming out, I'm staying here And getting really wobbly on beer Just try a bit of Brute for Men Oh no, it all got drank We all need a bosom For a pillow or tit wa*k I've no need for a woman When I've got my left hand Just a handy tub of vaseline And a picture of my Gran But we need tarts and we need lots of 'em We're going on the pull tonight When we've got tarts and we got lots of 'em They'll all get pissed and have a fight It's ace But I don't want tarts I want white lightning They're not my mummy They're rather frightening But I'm the king of pulling And you could learn so much You could learn the thing we saw Last night on Red Hot Dutch I don't need a girlfriend Oh, just come out and play I'll tell 'em that I'm too young I'll tell 'em that you're gay Okay, I'll come for one pint And then I'll go back home Nice one, lad, you won't regret it But I'll make sure I'm alone