Tripod - Visor King lyrics

He was the lord of all he surveyed But he kept his visor down So as a result he was the lord Of vertical strips of land He was a good king, He tried to do his best But he kept his visor down Which compromised his field of vision To the detriment of his kingdom Visor King, Visor King, Visor King, With your vertically slatted vision Visor King, Visor King, Visor King, How do you get by with vertical strips In front of your eyes? His loyal subjects, They played along With his keeping of his visor down Working hard to maintain the façade That his kingdom was made up of strips General! Yes, sire Where lies the fleet? Over by the lake, sire What? Group… of can*ls Yes, right Near the great wall What!? Series… of chimneys Ah, yes. See you there Visor King, Visor King, Visor King, Is yours a simple world? You see things in black and everything else War came to the land An invading army marched into view But the king was ever-vigilant in his tower So he called his generals and made them prepare I see 2 columns of infantry The kingdom was overrun by 4 columns of infantry. The Visor King and his prise had lost everything. He fled to the mountains to visit the fabled an*l the wizard. 'Cause I thought you said, "an*l the wizard," just then. You'd never believe it. I did say, "an*l the wizard," I did say it. Right, and I have to play the role of the wizard who's name is an*l? Yes, yes, you're an*l Don't you think that's… Is that fair? I don't think it's fair. It's perfectly fair. You get to play a wizard. You're a wizard! It's a stupid name No, you're right, it's unfair because you get to win… And play an*l. Dude, I wasn't expecting the wizard's name to be an*l, that's all I'm saying. But that's so good. That's what's good about an*l. He comes out of nowhere, man. Hmm. I don't wanna… I don't wanna do this. Just try it. Try an*l! You should. You really should. You don't wanna be that old man on his d**hbed regretting not having tried an*l. Oh, that old man. Yeah. Right. The one we often speak about Well, anyway, it doesn't matter what his name is. It doesn't come into the story. It's not, like, mentioned or anything so I shouldn't even – Doesn't matter. Good point Yeah, whatever. OK, you ready? Yep I see you have come on a quest Is your name an*l the wizard? My name is not important right now. But it is an*l? Look, do you want to win back your kingdom or not? Oh yes! How I miss the long, skinny fields of my home. Well then, I shall set you an insurmountable task! You shall need to battle to the d**h in mortal combat… A knight! A black knight! Yes! Nope! A stripy knight! A horizontally striped knight! Yes! Nope! Vertical stripes! A-ha-ha-ha Nooooo! The Visor King engaged the stripy knight But he kept his visor down Which created a visual flanging effect Making the Visor King queasy All seemed lost, He thought he might spew in his helmet Then an epiphany came to the Visor King Wait, wait, wait! What if I just move my head from side to side very quickly? Ugh, ugh, ugh! Ha-ha, yes! Shing! I am victorious! Visor King, Visor King, Visor King, Now return and win back your kingdom Visor King, Visor King, Visor King, You managed to get by With vertical strips in front of your eyes And so, moving his head from side to side to side, the Visor King defeated entire armies. He lived on to be a wise, old king, eventually dying of Parkinson's. But that's a whole nother adventure! Teach us how to get by With vertical strips in front of our eyes