Tripod - Keep Your Receipts lyrics

It seems like only yesterday, When my father sat me down and said: "Have a good gig at the Prince Pat tomorrow night". It was actually this morning, And he got the dates confused. My Dad... he's a f**wit! I remember another time, When my father sat me down and said: "The people in the row behind can't see". I said, "Dad, we're on a bus, And there's nothing much to see". And he said, "The landscape, son, the landscape". When I reached a certain age, As all the young boys do, My body started changing, I grew another head. I had an operation, And I had that head removed, Which was fortunate 'cause at the time there was a shortage of head donors. My Dad took really good care of me, Sat by my side every day. When I started to recover, Dad told me I was old enough, To hear some of the things he had to say. Hey hey hey. Oh... he wasn't Fat Albert, my Dad... get that clear. My Dad said, "Son, you've turned out nice, You're old enough to hear my advice. You're a man now, And so I want to tell you what I know" "Son, keep your receipts. Keep your receipts. If money is a cash cow, then planning is the meat, So son, keep your receipts, Keep your receipts. Son, keep your receipts. Keep your receipts. If life's a bog in Ireland, then wisdom is the peat, So son, keep your receipts, Keep your receipts"