Trevor Moore - Founding Fathers Rap lyrics

The name is George Washington, but it's "The General" to you Or you could call me President 1 or 3 or 2 And you probably heard a lot a silly stories ‘bout me But let me lay it down how raw it really used to be I got a hemp operation, back at the plantation Selling the stickiest sh** around the new nation So come run and find me if you wanna get high Cause honestly, I got the bombest, I cannot tell a lie Pick it, dry it, of course I'm gonna try it Bag it, brick it, and then just let ‘em buy it And if the Brits wanna come to take a piece of the cut I'll raise a whole f**in' army, let ‘em see what's what The King's like, "Yo... I gotta get paid" I'm like, "Tuff titty, cause yall's a whole ocean away And you can try to send some ships just to make me pay up But that's an awful long way just to sick these nuts." You get my f**in' message son? Take it Thomas Jefferson: Sell d**, run guns, nail s*uts, and f** the law We're founding fathers, we're Rushmore sh** And we were all high as balls The Declaration of Independence I wrote so high I'm surprised it makes sense But we take these truths to be self-evident It goes puff puff pa**, the next round you get skipped Abe Lincoln, I know what you're thinkin' Greatest President ever... I'll have what he's drinkin' Ha ha, yeah, well see, that's where you'd be wrong Cause if you wanna chill with me you better go and grab that bong Or an apple or a can, see you do not understand Faded 24/7 cause that's just the way I am I can see you're having a little trouble believing me Then check this letter that I wrote, recorded down in history: Ahem... "Two of my favorite things are sitting on my porch And smoking a pipe of that sweet hemp of course." That's a quote that I wrote while I was still in office But enough of that I am too high, I have to back up off this Where's my horse I think I need to go and ride him home I was supposed to leave about four score and twenty riffs ago You see my hat? I like it I kinda think it looks like a stove Scratch it, pa** it one more time and let me hit it for the road Sell d**, run guns, nail s*uts, and f** the law We're founding fathers, we're Rushmore sh** And we were all high as balls And don't let ‘em try and tell ya' we grew it just for rope You can check what we wrote down in our harvest notes We separated seeds that we found more potent In layman's terms we were into getting' bent Smokin' out the Continental Congress Everybody's b**hes be like all up on us Patrick Henry's in the corner lookin' pretty well spent Ben Franklin got so high he forgot to be President Your girl just said she never had it hit so good Smoked so many trees my f**in' teeth turned wood And if they make a monument to me when I die It'll be a giant abstract joint up in the sky But you know they're gonna whitewash me... Make up some corny sh** about me choppin' cherry trees It's hard to control a people if their Founder's a thug So they'll just teach that I was all prayers, puppies, and hugs But that just ain't the way it was We set this whole place up with a hell of a buzz So next time they try to tell ya that this stuff is wrong Look at a dolla, light a blunt, f**ing sing my song Sell d**, run guns, nail s*uts, and f** the law We're founding fathers, we're Rushmore sh** And we were all high as balls We're the Founders, and we found this And we found it, with some Cannabis We're the Founders, and we found this And we found it, with some Cannabis Mount Rushmore Crew: Stone monument to some monumental stoners. Ha ha! G Washington, T Jefferson, and A Lincoln And f** that other guy... Calvin Coolidge? Whoever the f**... We History