Transcendent - Dead Roses lyrics

[Intro] I think about d**h a lot. I think about what I'm going to leave behind, where I'm going to end up, what kind of impact I'm going to make...if I'm even going to make one at all. sh**, I put so much pressure on myself because I'm scared as hell of being someone that's forgotten...but that's what it takes, isn't it? An undying need for fulfillment. An obsession, to the point of insanity [Verse 1 – 24 bars] 20 at the time of writing this The age where I make my idle hands write a song or write a list I'm wired with adrenaline, never sleep, won't stop, et cetera ‘Cause if a hand's raised in victory, the second hand gets ahead of you Minutes melt to hours, and the memories persist Of my dad and myself thinking, “Damn son, I know you're better than this!” Full of adamant grit As I'm planning what'll happen, not a second chance, this is it “Gotta keep the pace or I won't validate my time here/ “Being mediocre means I'm a waste of space,” that rings between my ears My fears fueled further by comparisons I've gotten buried in Claw the soil, unearthing rose petals Won't smell them ‘cause while I'm stopped, the others grow better They say it's not a race but my view is they're ahead of me Just trying to get a leg up like wrestling a centipede Desperately trying to be the best and I'm finding That I'm steadily improving but I question my timing Greats have made it by my age…why am I struggling to make a name When I do the right things and focus with a laser aim? I'm not playing games, I breathe for this Not time to shine yet? Well it sure seems it is If the door's cracked, won't hesitate to throw it open Fixation hinges on it, always go for broken [8 bar bridge] 6 feet, smothered deep beneath the dead roses So distracted by the finish that I just noticed No aromas can penetrate an oak coffin Your own corrosion's all that stays boxed in Never take time to use my olfactory sense Working in the lab like an old factory since That's the way to the top, but what's the point being immortalized If you never stop and realize that there's more to life? That's the way to the top, but what's the point being immortalized If you never stop and realize that there's more to life? That's the way to the top, but what's the point being immortalized If you never stop and realize that there's more to life? [Verse 2 – 24 bars] I'm no cynic, but I'm my own worst critic Since I know of no limits, I insist I push my writtens To a higher plateau than rap knows To leave a legacy as the best there'll ever be: rap's GOAT Grapple high standards, stressing that I stay focused Disappointed if I'm not a hybrid Shakespeare and Beethoven Twisted notion of the concept of self worth How can I preach self-acceptance if I can't accept myself first? Hell, some days it's hard to tell why I'm doing this To influence? True, but I'm scared the glory will become more important than the music is At which point, it's ludicrous to pursue it Further due to fervor from my ego and the music biz I swear I'm losing it, man…and I'm not even on yet Still got something to prove with every f**ing project Am I talking nonsense or inferiority complex? All I know is it's a process Training daily to sustain progress k** myself for music, evolving bag of flesh and bones Turning epitaphs of my former self into stepping stones It's all I've ever known, it's all I'll ever be I'll keep the drive but I need to change the way I think Elevate my craft, hope I'm at peace when I've made it there The mirror's gawking at me…I need to take the stares